12.02.2010

The College Student's Survival Guide to Homesickness, Loneliness, or Hard Times

Well I know there are more of you homesick and lonely college students out there, because yeah, there are a ton of people who are social (including me) but everyone gets lonely at some point. I mean come on, it's college. And since I feel like I'm pretty much an expert on this topic, I'll share some tips that have helped me get through the semester...

1. Be sad. You're probably thinking, what??? Who does this girl think she is?! But really. It's ok to be sad! We are human and we have a lot of emotion within us. If all we are showing or letting out is the happy side, we can get really really depressed on the inside and it's unhealthy. But this goes both ways...don't be sad all the time. You need a little of both emotions to balance out your life. So just know that it is definitely okay to cry and let it out, but make sure to laugh and let all that out too.


2. Find something small that you know you can look forward to and do every day. For me this is my fashion blog. I've said this a billion times, but that blog has pretty much saved my life this semester. It's nice to have something to "live for" every day because I have to dress cute and take pictures and blog about it, so I can't let myself go completely. For a while I was also dancing every day but my life got busy and my blog took priority on time. But find something that's good for you. Whether it be reading a good book for an hour (if you are Mormon, something other than your scriptures--although they are also wonderful), exercising, playing an instrument, etc. Find something that is good for you and the key word here is to do it every day. I promise this will help and you will find yourself while doing it. This is huge for me. Oh and I would recommend not taking a nap or just laying in bed for this. Do something active or something that goes with your personality.


3. Find something long term that you can look forward to. For me, this is going home on certain weekends or on breaks. I go home for a weekend and it seriously breaks my heart to come back. I just feel like bawling. But it helps immensely to already know the next date when I'm going home so I can countdown to it and know that I do have something to look forward to, I just have to survive the next few days/weeks. For those of you who don't go home, it can be the weekend, but try and have something fun planned already. This helps if it is already planned because then you have a set date you can count down to. Maybe if you have a long distance boyfriend or are writing a missionary, count down the days until you see him or get a letter. Countdown the days until Christmas or the new semester. Again on this one, find something that works for you and that you know you'll always look forward to.



4. Have friends that you know you can turn to and who will listen to you. You're not going to get through this alone. You need people that really love you by your side. And I say friends (plural) because you have to have more than one, because if you have one person you are relying on and they let you down, you are left with no one. Have at least 3 close friends you can turn to and go to them when you need a friend. I've been so lucky this semester to be blessed with so many friends that have been there for me. Last year I had one best friend (who is one of my roommates now) but this year she completely ditched me and hates me. We don't even talk. It's so hard to deal with that hate and the only way to counteract that is with love from others. It's exhausting and so hurtful to deal with someone hating you all the time, so you need others that will love you all the time. My roommates from last year and my roommates this year as well as a few other friends have been my support through all of this and I know they really care about me and are there for me. And through this I've learned that even if I do have one best friend or if I'm in a relationship, I don't want to let all my other friendships go. I'm lucky that they all have been there for me this year when I really wasn't the greatest friend last year.



5. Use the gospel in your life. For those of you who aren't LDS, this might not apply to you as much though it still can and I can definitely say that it'd be worth it. I couldn't have gotten through any of this semester without God on my side. Prayer, scripture reading, and church have been miracles for me. Whenever I'm so down, I just get on my knees and pray for a long time, until I feel better. Because I know Heavenly Father is there for me and he'll listen for as long as I need him to and won't ever let me down. Also through the gospel, I know that this trial is for the best in my life and that eventually it will be over and I'll be blessed in wonderful ways. I just have to hold on and stay close to God.



6. Have a place you can go to and be alone. Most college students don't have their own room and share with someone else. This can be super hard because it means your room can only be your solace so much because you don't want to just start bawling when your roommate is in there talking on the phone, doing their homework, or trying to sleep. So whenever I need to be alone, I'll go in my car or I also have a place on campus that pretty much no one else knows about that I can cry freely or just know that I'm not going to be bothered.



7. Find a group or a niche that you can belong to. Being in a group of people will give you more purpose in your life. I (try) to go to Hip-Hop club every week and it helps because I can just dance and forget about everything else and it is also a place where I know I'll have friends and we can just have fun there. Most colleges have lots of clubs that I'm pretty sure there would be plenty for you to join. BYU has pretty much every club imaginable. If you go to BYU go to their club page for a list of all the clubs they have. Or if you like sports, join an intramural team or get a group of people together in your ward or apartment complex and go play something every week. Something to get you involved is good.



8. Be social! Some days, you might just be feeling super sad and lonely and not want to do anything, but it's these days that you'll need people the most. Make friends in class and in your ward and when people invite you to do stuff, GO. It'll make you feel better and forget about your worries. College can be lonely, but it can also be lots of fun! Take advantage of the great social life at college, because it won't ever come again and you'll regret it if you didn't have fun. Go to dances, events like theatre productions, sporting events, and dance concerts, or just go out with friends and hang out. Have fun and things will be happier and time will go by faster.


9. Tell people that life is hard. Don't pretend like life is all great and happy because that does nothing. I mean, don't just bring it up and be like, "Oh by the way, my life is terrible, just so you know." But if people ask (genuinely) how you're doing, it's okay to tell them life is hard. At first, I would just tell people life was great but then I realized it was pointless and that I was pushing people away who cared. Telling people your life is hard right now is not weak. It makes you human and real and people love that. Honesty is an important quality and people really respect you when you're honest about your life.



10. Be positive and get through it. Yes life is tough right now, but that is how life is. We all have hard times and we all go through trials. Get yourself through it the best you can. Your life will not always be difficult and good things really are right around the corner. And try and stay positive through it all, because although it's okay to tell people you're going through a hard time, no one likes a Negative Nellie. Everything really will work out though. Just keep your chin up and smile. :)


I hope that helped some of you...I think this really applied a lot to my life so writing this helped me a ton. But I hope this helps at least one person out there (I did spend an hour writing this!). Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful comments and support. I really am so lucky. :)

*Pictures from Google Images*

6 comments:

  1. Kailee! Thanks soo much! You really don't know how much this meant to me! (:

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  2. Great advice! For everyone cause we all feel sad at one point or another!

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  3. Amazing! You have such a talent for writing. Your insights are amazing. I am so lucky to be related to you. Wanna marry my brother and be doubly in my family forever?????? :) You are the best!!!!

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  4. Kailee, you are a good writer. the end.

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  5. You're remarkable, that's all there is to it. Thank you for sharing this, I am saving it forever.

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