All About Gracie

I think probably for my own sake (for memories and stuff) I want to talk about each of my family members on here. Because I seriously love them a ton. So...here goes!

Today I'm going to tell you the story of Gracie (oh and these aren't going to go in any really particular order, fyi). It's a good thing blog post are all written, or you'd see me crying as I write this post because I love Gracie so so much. I don't think I knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love this little girl here. You've probably heard me talk about Gracie a lot on this blog, and sometimes you probably wonder, "How can a twenty year-old girl be so close with her five year-old sister?" Welp, I'll tell you. :)

Gracie is no ordinary child. She's kind of like a little miracle in our family. There are five of us siblings--me, Carina, Sidney, Cee Ryle, and Gracie--and everyone but Gracie is pretty close in age. We all range from 20 (almost 21 mind you) to 13 years old and we all pretty much grew up together. My parents actually always wanted six kids. Some of you might think five or six is a lot, but trust me, it's so fun. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way! After Cee Ryle, it was really hard though, because my parents kept trying to have children, and they were successful, at first. My mom sadly had a lot of miscarriages, which was really hard on them, but also for my siblings and I. We all really wanted more kids! My brother specifically wanted another brother.

I think maybe after the first miscarriage, I decided that every month I was going to fast to have another baby in the family. To explain, in our church on the first Sunday of every month we have fast Sunday where every able member (so everyone eight and older, because that's when you usually get baptized and become a member) of the church refrains from eating for 24 hours or like two meals. When you fast, it's to bring you closer to the Lord and it's for a specific purpose for whatever you need in your life at the time. Like when someone in the ward (which is our church community) is really sick or struggling, on certain occasions, everyone fasts for that person to get better. Fasting is sort of like added strength to your prayers. Also when we fast, we pay fast offerings, which is money for the food we would have eaten that day. (If you have any questions about this, you can ask me in a comment or email!)

So for a long time, every single first Sunday of the month, I would fast and pray so hard to have a baby in our family. I think I fasted for like 4-5 years. It was really hard, but I never gave up. I'll never forget the happiness and excitement I felt when I was fourteen years old and my parents told us we were having another baby. I was still really cautious, because of all the miscarriages. But when the baby kept staying healthy past the point that the other babies had miscarried at before, we started to feel so excited. I think with Gracie, it was different, because we had already experienced so much loss and it made me really scared to lose her. I wanted this little baby so bad.
my crazy family in November right before Gracie was born
And I guess Heavenly Father wanted us to have that baby pretty bad too, because on December 27, 2006, our beautiful Gracie Ann Brown was born, and our family was finally complete.
I love this picture because it's like she was saying hi :)
I think a sister was the best thing I got that Christmas. Going through all of that I think kind of explains why Gracie and I are so close. One, we got spiritually close because I fasted for her all of those years. Maybe she was just up in heaven hearing my prayers and wanting to come down to us so badly. And two, I understood loss before she came. I understood wanting another sibling, almost getting one, and then losing them. I always get really scared I'm going to lose Gracie in some way because she means so much to me. I think I have a taste of what being a mom feels like because in a way, I feel that love for Gracie.

Seriously though, I love that little girl more than anything in the world. We are best friends (no joke, she is my best friend!) and whenever I come home we have a lot of fun. We share a love for barbies, shopping, and dressing cute. She has the biggest attitude, and being the youngest by a long shot she definitely gets her fair share of spoiling, but we love her, so that's partially why. ;) Gracie for some reason loves Spiderman, so I got her a shirt that she wore yesterday :) She also loves getting her face painted, barbies (she loves them a lot, ok?), my little pony, purple, and Carrie Underwood. I definitely convinced her of the Carrie Underwood one but she came up with purple all on her own! It's so cute, she always makes an effort to give me purple things, like a purple cup, purple vitamins, or point out to me that she's wearing a purple shirt.

One of my favorite and funniest memories with Gracie is when I convinced her to be my roommate here at BYU. Somehow I legitimately convinced her that being with me all the time, having no parents to tell her what to do, and being at BYU would be the best thing ever. She was totally on board and was asking my parents if she could be my roommate! It was pretty sad when I had to convince her to not be my roommate after that (my mom wasn't too happy haha) and tell her she'd have to pay rent and she'd be gone from her parents and she wouldn't have been able to go to preschool. She cried because she wanted to be my roommate so bad. Maybe one day when I'm old and settled she can come live with me for a summer or something!

Gracie and I are the best of the best and truest of the true friends you will ever find. She always tells me to come home "way soon" so we can see each other a lot. Whenever I do come home, we see each other and go "Eeeeee!!!" because we're so excited to be together again. We cry when I leave and it's sad. I really do miss her when I'm in Provo. The hardest thing about us being so far apart in age is that I only lived at home for a few years of her life, and she won't even remember any of that. I want to stay close like this for the rest of our lives and I will definitely make a huge effort to!

So here's to my best friend Gracie. May we always be best friends forever and have so much fun...I hope the special connection we have always stays there and only grows stronger. I love you so much...Grace, Gracie Poo, Crackadoodle (she loves that nickname for some reason), Gracie Gracie Goose. I saw her this past weekend at my cousin's baptism and I can't wait to go home on Saturday to see her again!


kaileemade: A Lace Skirt

I made this skirt the week before school started this year. It was actually just done on a whim (a Wednesday--haha whimsical Wednesday??) where I was looking through my September issue of Vogue, got inspired, and decided I wanted to make a cute lace skirt that day. So I did! Once again, it was made with no patterns, I just used another skirt I had to know the length and approximate size needed. I have a box filled with fabric, so I just used some of that, as well as thread, a hook and eye, and a zipper I already had, and voila! A skirt! :)

I adore this skirt! It's super feminine and my favorite part is the pattern on a pattern (lace over floral). I seriously love things with patterns on top of patterns, I think it's such a great look!

And yep, this is my skirt. Love it lots. And already we are getting started on fashion show stuff, I'm so excited! Today we had modeling auditions. I need to get the rest of my collection designed within a week and a half. Yippee!


Guess WHAT.

Soooo BYU is going to be doing a fashion show on February 9th! I know, exciting, right?! But that's not even the best news! The best news is that I get to be one of the designers for it! I am so so SO psyched to have this opportunity. Honestly, there isn't a lot of fashion stuff that goes on around here, so when I heard about this I jumped at the chance. It will be the perfect thing to focus on for my senior year.

Oh! And if you are a BYU student and would like to participate as a model, photographer, or videographer, you can go here for more info.

I just wanted to share the news. :) Happy Friday!

(Also, thank you to those who commented on my post from the other day. It made me feel so much better, you have no idea! So thanks a gazillion times :))



This week, I've been really frustrated with myself. Honestly, it's been one of those weeks. Not that it's been bad or that I'm unhappy. I'm not (unhappy, that is), but I feel like I've just been messing up a ton.

For one, the nail-biting thing totally crash landed. I bit every single one of my nails this week down to the point where there are no nails left to bite. Two days ago I bit my thumbnail so bad that I could barely go to sleep because it hurt and right as I type it is still hurting.

Another is that I haven't done very well in school. I've skipped a few classes and I haven't done all my homework and I just really haven't done well at all. The thing is that for some reason, school is really hard for me. It didn't used to be, because obviously in high school I got good grades or I wouldn't have gotten into BYU. I even graduated high school with an Associate's Degree in hand. But for a while since I've been in college, I have a lot of trouble concentrating or I get really distracted so that when an idea gets in my head or I need to do something, I feel like I have to do it right away, and it messes me up with school and stuff. It's like I know what my priorities should be and what I want them to be, but something in my head changes that all around and I don't always care. My academic counselor suggested I might have problems with anxiety, which would make a lot of sense but also kind of scares me. I can't believe I'm even writing this right now because I hardly ever tell these things to people.

I haven't been eating or sleeping right. I've been staying up until like 1 or 2 (or even sometimes 3) in the morning and then I wake up at 9 or 10 am. And if you're a college student, you know this isn't an ideal sleep schedule. It's not like I'm even awake doing homework, I just stay awake doing stuff, like sketching, or watching tv, or surfing the internet. And I would go to sleep at midnight like a normal person but I just don't feel tired. And then because of this sleep schedule, it throws my eating off. I will be honest and say that keeping healthy and eating three meals a day while in school has been a hard thing for me. The thing is, it's important to me to eat well, it really is. I know how important it is to be healthy. But somehow I just find myself doing other things or messing up my schedule and before you know it, it's three hours past lunchtime and I'm starving.

Ugh, I am just so mad at myself because I don't want to be doing any of these things at all, and yet here I am doing them. I don't want to bite my nails until they hurt but in one day they were all short like I had never even been growing them out. The thing is that I am trying so hard, and yet I keep messing up. I just want my life to be normal like everyone else's seems to be. I would like to be kissed or have a boyfriend before I turn 21 because right now I just feel like some alien and I am so so sick of being single while everyone around me gets to fall in love and start families.

I'm really sorry you had to read my venting. These aren't the type of posts you really look forward to reading on a blog. I guess I wrote this because I just needed somewhere to let it out, someone to talk to, and this blog was the first place I came to. I don't know what is going on with my life right now and I am just so so frustrated.
(sigh. deep breath.)
Ok I think I'm going to go to bed. If you read thisthanks for listening.


Fashion Week..Wanna Sneak In?

In honor of New York Fashion Week this week (SO wish I was there) here's a fun read on how someone snuck into one of the shows. It's like my dream to be able to attend fashion week one day (have my own designs shown there? yes, I aim high haha) so I liked reading this. It ends tomorrow so maybe I will post my some of my favorite designs as I've been browsing through the shows and such.

If you want to watch it live you can go here (it's not really live, but it is good coverage). There are also quite a few photos from it being posted on the Sartorialist if you're more of a photo person.

Happy Fashion Week everyone!! :)



It's always a somber day on 9/11. It's day that will always make us shudder and a day that will always feel close to us. It's a day we can never forget.

I remember getting ready to leave for school, and as we were watching Arthur tv, some breaking news came up, showing us the plane crashing through one of the twin towers. I had to leave for school but I kept watching and I remember the shock and horrifying way my stomach dropped when we were all even more surprised about the second plane crashing into the other tower. I was numb, and I couldn't think of anything else as I watched the towers collapse into themselves. It was all anyone at school could talk about. I was only nine years old, but I understood so well, and I was hurt by what had just happened to our country.

Just a month before we were lucky enough to be in New York City and get a photo of us with the towers before the whole thing happened. I can't think of how many times I am so happy we weren't there a month later.
no, I was not a pregnant looking child, just a girl whole liked to do strange poses wherever she went.
I was lucky again to go to New York City this year in July, where we went to the new 9/11 memorial. While I will never be the same from the effect of these attacks, and while I will always have the hurt that is surrounded with it, I am grateful for them I'm grateful for the way it taught us to not take our country for granted, and I'm grateful for the way it unified our country in a way that nothing else could do. I'm grateful that it was something so large that we always will remember.

Let us always remember, and always stay united by hope.


kaileemade: Printed Shorts!

I finally decided to give a name to all my designs I make. kaileemade. As I started making these shorts, I started to think of them as "kaileemade" and the name just sort of worked. I made a tab so people can check out all of my kaileemade stuff :)

And now..I'd like to introduce you to my printed shorts! I made these with no pattern (but used another pair of shorts that fit me well as reference) and they took about 10-ish hours to make. This cotton fabric was actually found at a home fabrics store for like $2 a yard (all the fabrics there were really cheap, it was amazing!!) and when I saw it, I fell in love and a vision of these shorts came into my mind.

I love these shorts...they are simple, uber-comfortable, modest, and definitely unique. My favorite part is the pockets. They're just on the outside of the shorts lined up with the material which makes them very subtle.

I tried to pair them with a black shirt, but it was a lot of black, so they ended up going with this white blouse, one of my favorite tops I bought from the bookstore where I work. These shorts are great because there's a clean front so it's easy to tuck a shirt in, but at the same time, you could definitely wear them with the shirt untucked as well.

These are probably the most well-made garment I've done. They literally fit me perfectly! I've never sewn any fitted bottoms before, so I am extremely pleased with the way these turned out.

I am really trying to focus on honing my design and sewing skills this year, so I hope I'll be sewing a lot! Of course, if school gets busy it gets a little harder but I will be trying my best. I love these shorts. They are a great start to my new (and last) school year!


Fashion Friday: Fashion's Night Out!

Last night I had the awesome opportunity to go to Fashion's Night Out!

Basically it's the biggest fashion event in the world because it was happening everywhere! It's a night of shopping and fashion shows. It also kicks off New York Fashion Week in NYC, which is now going on (gah, SO wish I was there!). The Utah one was being held in Fashion Place mall and I got lucky enough to win VIP passes from my friend's Madison and Lauren's blog Awkward Girls. I got to bring a guest so I invited my sister Carina to come along with me. It was great! We got to go in a roped off area where they served delectable desserts from Brio Tuscan Grille and they gave us cute tote bags with lots of swag. We also got great seating for all the fashion shows which was a lot of fun. The fashion shows featured students from SLCC's fashion institute as well as a lot of fashions from the stores in the mall. They had other stuff going on as well. They took pictures of us (this is the one from my camera but they'll be posted on Salt Lake magazine's facebook page), had fashion illustrations (we're going to get ours emailed to us because the girl doing it didn't have enough time there to finish), a free photobooth, and shopping of course!

Excuse the photo quality of some of these pictures. I didn't take out my camera very much because I was caught up having too much fun :)
Contrary to popular belief, I am indeed the older sister, although I am shorter and look younger. What is this?! (oh and I made my shorts! I wish there was a better picture of them)
Madison and Lauren from Awkward Girls...these ladies are great!
After the fashion shows were done and the mall closed down, they had an after party for the VIPs at Brio Tuscan Grille with live music and more yummy fancy food. Carina and I went there for a little bit after and then had to head home because it was getting late.
Isn't this bag adorable?!
Yep, I had a blast. And it made me realize even more about how much I love fashion. Every day I love it more and more and I get bigger dreams. I never realized something could make me so happy...nothing really ever quite met the bar for me, but fashion came along and I adore it. All those years of stumbling around got me somewhere, thank goodness!

I ended the night with a bathroom mirror picture. I tend to take these a lot, but I've realized the pattern! I take these photos of myself whenever I'm happy, and I don't want to forget how happy I looked or felt.

Have a great weekend! There'll be a post featuring my newly made shorts shortly :)


How to Fix a Heart

We as humans are so broken. We have scars and scratches and wrinkles all over the outside of our bodies and the insides of our souls.

If we could see the soul of heart, we see hundreds of little pieces shattered, painstakingly put back together with whatever glue or thread we have left. Small little cracks and crevices would be all over it, some impossible to repair.

Once we're broken, it's difficult not to break others. We push people out because we're afraid to trust them--they can fix us but we take the risk of breaking even more, if it's possible. We yell and cry and fight and all it does is hurt us and them. We starve ourselves or drug ourselves to numb the pain, to try and make everything better and happier, but really we're just putting it off. Once it comes back, the pain comes full force, like an unwelcome firework in our chest.

One day, when the last piece shatters, when the last tear falls, we stop breaking others. Because to break others you have to break yourself a little bit too. And then comes the repair, for us and for others. We fix and glue and tape everything back together with sorries, kisses, tears, words, and hugs. We trust, we love, we forgive. We stop expecting people to break us. We let them in.

Eventually, each piece of the heart seems to mend itself with every hug, any gentle touch. Once the heart is mended, we're whole again. The cracks and crevices are still there, but they don't hurt us anymore, because the synchronicity of our heart is more powerful than any of those small cracks. We can fix the ones we once broke, and we can fix the ones who fixed us.

We love, we grow.


I Like These Things

1. Smoothies.
I believe smoothies may be my favorite treat ever. They are so yummy and so easy to make!! My mom gave me a little purple smoothie maker last year that I use at least twice a week, usually more. I usually buy some fruit and freeze it (because then you don't need to use ice) add some yogurt (any fruity flavor will do, but I do love Yoplait's "white chocolate strawberry" and "raspberry cheesecake") and add some juice! I was lucky to find some Sunny Delight for $0.75 at Smith's the other day so I bought that and it adds a nice citrus punch to my smoothies. Then I mix it all up and enjoy. They are pretty healthy (Sunny D is packed with sugar though, I know. Probably one of the best things to use would be V-8 Splash to get some vegetables in there) and pretty delicious. The nice thing is that all fruits really taste good together, so you can't go wrong making a smoothie!

2. Painting my nails.
Ever since I stopped biting my nails five and a half weeks ago (what?!?) this has become my new love in life. I paint my nails a new color 1-2 times a week and I keep the color that my nails are on my nightstand so that if they ever chip at any time, I'm ready to paint over it. I've found that my favorite colors to paint my nails have been a mint green (the first color I painted my nails and the very one that got me to stop biting them), a sparkly black, and a dark maroon (current). I think I gravitate towards the darker colors more. My favorite thing to do with painted nails is look in the mirror, hold my hand up and smile at myself. It's still surreal to have long painted nails! Gah! I love it.

3. Nutella.
Need I say more?

4. Homemade granola bars.
Haha most of this list is becoming food...that's funny. But hey, food is good, yes? But homemade granola bars are the BEST. Once you've had these you can't go back to the real thing. I make them with these friends a lot and my personal favorite is peanut butter chocolate chip. My friend Sarah has a recipe here on her fabulous cooking blog if you want to try making them! They are very easy to make and well worth it!

5. Art Markers
Is that even the official name for them? I should probably know that, but oh well. The point is that these things are great! I have been using them for my fashion illustrations and they have helped a lot and make them look ten times better! I like using these markers so much that I've been practicing illustrating every night. Maybe I will post some illustrations soon, but first I just need to get my method down!

6. T-shirts.
My favorite summer outfit was just wearing a t-shirt and shorts. No joke. I wore my Demi Lovato concert tee daily as well as several other shirts. I just got this tee from Stylemint that I am wearing right as I type these words and I love it! Now that school has started I'm actually dressing cute again though and that's been fun too. I can't wear shorts or jeans at work so that's forced me to dress a little nicer than normal. But on Saturdays and Mondays? Shorts and a t-shirt. :)

7. My Harvard pen.
I got this pen at a store in Harvard for $2.99 and it's such a great pen! The ink is dark and it writes super smoothly. I keep it in my purse at all times and I love pulling it out just because it says Harvard. Anything that says Harvard is cool. At least in my book it is. Plus it reminds me of the east coast and that makes me happy.

8. Curly hair.
As many of you know (maybe?), I have stick straight hair. It has no curl to it whatsoever. Some days I can just blow dry my hair or let it hair dry and it looks good enough to go out on the town because it is that straight! I would also like to say that I adore my straight hair. When I was younger, I was vain and would look in the mirror and tell myself that my hair was "my most prized possession." Who says that? Well, I definitely did and maybe still do. But the thing is that I think curly hair is beautiful too, and one of the reasons I'm growing my hair long is so that I can have long, gorgeous, curly locks. When I was 14 and loved going to stake dances, I would spend literally two hours curling my hair with a curling iron only to have it stay in for probably two hours max. Now I curl it with the straightener and it stays in way better, but by the end of the day the curls are mostly dead. This week I was determined to make it through a whole day with curls that were fairly curly, so I curled my hair every day this week (except yesterday)! I used mousse, took longer, and then finally today I started spraying every curl I did with hairspray and they stayed in! I am now happy, and you'd think I'd be sick of curling my hair, but it looks really pretty this way so I'll probably do it more. Straight hair will be making an appearance back into my life though. Ok...goodbye long novel about hair.

9. Friendship bracelets.
I got this one for $1 on Saturday at the Latin American Festival here in Provo and I am loving it! These bracelets tend to go with the t-shirt/shorts vibe. I have my trusty watch that I wear most of the time, but sometimes it's a little too hot to wear it. But then my wrist feels bare so a friendship bracelet does the trick of filling the void.

I suppose that's all for now. Annnnd if I sound tired or blunt, I am. Ta-ta.


Things About Boston

I wrote this like a month after I was in Boston but never published it. But I'd still like to remember these things and I think it's fun, so here it is.

1. It's so green! Every place I turn, there are several trees, flowers, or even a small forest. I love driving to the church building because it's the most beautiful drive ever. I don't think I'll ever get sick of it. It's like a fairytale, because we drive on a road with trees on both sides, some bending over so it's like you're driving through a tunnel of green with the sun shining through the leaves but mostly having shade as you drive through. And it's a quiet road so it's just very peaceful. The best is listening to piano music as you make the drive. Cat said sometimes people feel claustrophobic or enclosed when they come but I don't feel that at all. It almost makes me feel safe...at home.

2. It is so historical. The road names are like Lexington and Concord, named after Revolutionary War battles, which I just think is so cool! There are so many old buildings and houses around too and it's like a little tour just driving around seeing all the different structures made of brick or other old materials. Some seem to fade away because they're so old, but this only makes them stand out more and make them more special.

3. The LDS community here is so close and so very welcoming. It's crazy, coming from a town where the high school is 95% Mormon to coming to an area where it takes 20 minutes to drive to church because the ward is so spread out. My aunt is really good friends with a lot of the sisters in the ward and she knows a lot of people in the stake because there just aren't a ton of them so they all know each other and they're all friends. The young adult group has been so welcoming. I went to church on Sunday and person after person kept coming up to me saying hi, treating me like we were old friends. I think people here don't take members for granted, like often happens in Utah. There, people all know each other, and with so many Mormons, it's hardly noticed or even a big deal when there's a new person. Here, when there is someone new, they're welcomed with open arms because there aren't a lot of LDS people here.

4. It's so diverse. For one, there aren't a lot of LDS people here, so there are so many more people who drink, party, swear, etc. I don't do that kind of stuff but it's really cool to see what more of the world is like. I realize how innocent I am because I have never been exposed to anything like this. This week I was talking to one of the other interns at Anthro and I was telling her about BYU and Mormonism and afterwards, I realized that it was the first time I ever had to tell someone about our religion. Before that, I'd never explained what being a Mormon was. Crazy, right? And then one of the other interns another day was talking about how she goes to all these concerts and they have to have a sober driver and she was like, "of course we have fake ids," and I was just like, whoa! It was all so new and different to me. It's also cultural diverse, meaning there are more than just white people here. There are a lot of hispanics, so a lot of people know how to speak Spanish and there are other nationalities and religions here too. Awesome.

5. Almost everyone has an iPhone. It's like seriously insane. I've never felt more left out in my entire life haha! Iphones are so big here and now I want one badly. I'm such a follower. :/

6. There isn't much customer service. In Utah malls, I walk into a store and immediately I'm bombarded by an employee asking me how my day is and telling me all their sales. Here, I walk into some stores, ready to be attacked, and instead all I see are employees folding clothes or working at the register. It's kind of weird, and I almost find myself missing customer service a little bit. I know, I know, I must be going insane to say that.

7. Sports. Are. HUGE. Celtics, Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins (basketball, baseball, football, hockey), you name it they're all really big. People are huge fans. It's always a conversation started when people are like, what team are you?! I just, "Um, the Jazz I guess? Now maybe the Celtics?" Who knows? I don't really care about them a ton, but the rest of Boston does, so I may just come back to Utah a big fan of all those teams.

8. People dress classy here. Think Banana Republic and Gap style. That's what people dress like here, because they are "Bostonian." Ok, well they're not snobby or anything, that's just what I've noticed. Utah people dress very mormon-y (think a Utah mom with blond poofed hair and shirts with ruffles and prints) but here it's definitely clean cut and classy. No crazy fashions or prints.

9. The hot dog buns. They're different. Instead of opening on the side, they open at the top. Seriously, who thought location would change such a thing as hot dog buns. But indeed it does.

10. The rain here is crazy! I mean it has been raining quite a bit, but more than that, it's super random. One minute it's pouring rain like no tomorrow and then fifteen minutes later the sun is out and had you been inside and not seen/heard the rain, you wouldn't even know it happened. I really like how much it rains though. It just adds to the beauty of this place. It makes sense for it to rain as much as it does or it wouldn't be so green here. The other night it was raining as I fell asleep and I decided that one of my favorite things in the world is falling asleep to the rain.

11. Polite drivers. In Utah, you could be waiting at a stop sign for like 10 minutes and still not be able to turn, but here I have noticed that when traffic is busy, drivers will stop and let you turn in, even when they have the right of way. I get surprised every time it happens because I'm not used to it. Its a nice surprise though, like an "oh that was thoughtful" feeling that makes your heart happy.

12. The way there is a church building on every block in Utah, there is a Dunkin Donuts on every block in the east coast. People need their coffee here!

I have to say that I am glad to be back in Utah but I miss Boston and the east coast so fiercely. I miss my internship. I miss Cat, Derick, Brianna, and Ellie. I miss the singles ward. I miss the roads and Route 9. I miss the history of everything and the trees that dot the earth there. I miss the smell of coffee (and I hate the smell of coffee!). I miss it all. I wish I could somehow have the best of both worlds and just transport my whole life over to the east coast, but obviously things don't really work that way. For now, I will just continue to yearn for it. Soon I will go back, and when I do, that will be a happy day :)


As an aspiring fashion designer, I have certain dreams that one day I hope will come true. One of those dreams is definitely to have my own fashion line one day. I think that would be super amazing. And being an LDS woman, it would probably end up being modest clothing that I’d design and sell.

That being said, I do not want to be another one of those companies that fits under the “modest clothing” category. I think we all know what I mean—the companies that make the cap sleeve tees and tank tops to make your clothes modest (like here), with a bunch of knit dresses and shirts that we’ve seen way too many times before (here). Yeah, it's kinda cute, but ever heard the term "modest is hottest?" I don't feel like that completely rings true with these type of companies. Is this really what modest clothing needs to be? Can’t LDS women look super cute and fashionable while still keeping their values?

The obvious answer is yes. There are hundreds of fashion blogs out there, like Clothed Much and The Daybook that have shown us that yes, we can look cute while staying modest at the same time. But what about for the people who don’t want to search all over the place trying to find modest clothing from the fashion forward stores? There aren’t many places out there that are super fashion forward and completely modest. The only companies I can think of that do this well would be Shabby Apple, and possibly DownEast Basics (which does sell the modest cap sleeve tees mentioned above but also a variety of apparel, some of which are really cute and keep up with the trends).

I like Shabby Apple because they appeal to all types of women, not just Mormons, and I think that ultimately my goal is just that—to be able to attract people with any values to wear my clothes, not necessarily because they’re modest, but because they are cute. People generally wear immodest clothing not always because they are purposely trying to do so, but because that’s what’s out there, and that’s what cute. I mean, they’re not trying to be modest either, but when they see a dress like this and a cute sleeveless dress like this, the choice is obvious of which one they’ll pick.

My goal is to design clothes that are cute and fashionable but still cover up. Clothes that, when people have an option, they can choose to wear the modest outfit and still know that they will look even cuter than they would if they had chosen the other one. Hopefully this dream will become a reality, and one day, you’ll see my clothing on models walking down a runway in New York Fashion Week (okay, okay… we’ll work on one goal at a time haha).

(note: this post is in no way trying to minimize modest clothing companies, just trying to make a point. Mostly, these are just my random thoughts on a Saturday night)
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