Conquer Those Fears!

November 19, 2008 was the first time I ever saw Carrie Underwood in concert and was thus the absolute best day of my life. And every year since then, it's been pretty good times. There are usually movie premieres that happen to fall on this day every year so I think things like New Moon (I had a good time, even if the movie was dumb!), HP part 1, Catching Fire, etc., have all happened on this day. It's kind of a magical day because of that fateful Carrie concert 6 years ago.

Yesterday was November 19, 2014, and it was a day to go down in the books. For one, it was a really good dance day in my contemporary dance class. I felt like I was so in tune with my body and dancing mind and everything seemed to flow and dance beautifully. I was in the zone! And I love the zone. That's a topic for another day though.

Second, was that I gave my persuasive speech in my public speaking class. This was worth 200 points, so 1/5 of our grade, but more than that, it felt really important to me that I give the speech properly. It was about the ugly side of fashion, and I wish I would have taken a video of the speech, but it's all written down, so soon-ish I will do a post on that and you can read it because it really was such a good speech.

Anyway, it was a topic I feel really really strongly about and I wanted to do it justice! And for me, even though I've learned a ton from this public speaking class and improved a lot, I still have to practice a ton or I mess up and stutter. So I did. I practiced this speech for about 4 hours the day before and 1 hour the day before, not to mention the weeks I spent before it was due, writing it up and making sure it was all perfect.

I've never been more nervous for a speech, but I eventually gave it and felt like I did a terrible job. Gah. I was going over everything in my head that I could have and should have said, but I was like, whatever, it's fine. (sorry, this post sounds so much like something a teenager wrote, and I'm 23. 23!)

Before class was over, we were all voting on one person from our class to send to the Sloan Showcase, which is a BYU Public Speaking showcase where one person from each public speaking class gets chosen to speak at it. So we all sent in our votes and I think it would have been really cool to have been chosen but another student, actually a professor taking the class, who has put so much work into it and is an excellent public speaker, got chosen, so we were all really happy about that.

Okay, here's the magic part. Guess who the runner up was?

When my teacher said "Kailee," I really wish I could go back and look at the video of my face because SHOCK people. And then some real pride in myself. I was the runner-up! What the heck! I also looked at the feedback from my classmates afterward and was so surprised to see mostly scores of 9s and 10s. Crazy. You really have no idea!

Here's the thing, I took this class not because it was required, but because I needed it, because I am NOT (or was not) a good public speaker. Imagine me six months ago, never raising my hand in class or church to comment, never saying the prayer, never getting up to do any sort of public speaking, and when having to, feeling absolutely petrified and doing anything to avoid it. Fear.

So what changed? Why did I make myself take a public speaking class when it was the very thing I dreaded?

One day after church this past summer, probably in June or July?, one of my friends who was in the Relief Society presidency came up to talk to me after church. And she asked me why I never commented in church, because she always saw me taking notes and thinking about stuff when questions were asked, but never actually seeing me respond. My response was something like, "when I talk, words don't come out eloquently and also I'm so bad at public speaking," which was true, so true. And still kind of is, I really have a hard time speaking on the spot. But she was just like, "huh. Well, you should comment sometime." And that was pretty much it.

I guess I had always kind of seen myself as someone who just wasn't good at speaking in public, and seeing that as something that wouldn't change. But after my friend told me that, I thought about it, and from then on, I considered commenting in church, something I never considered before because it scared me too much to do so. I think it too me literally like a month and a half to finally do it, but I made a comment one day in church and my roommate Olivia was shocked because she'd never seen me do that.

That was the first day I decided to get over my fear and signing up for public speaking class went along with that. No joke, I really dreaded taking that class and I kept asking myself why in the world I was putting myself through torture, but this was something I wanted to get over. And guess what? I kind of did.

I'm not a master public speaker, but I've always loved writing, so it's nice to be able to not be afraid to say the words I write out loud. I've improved SO much. I guarantee I started out as one of the worst speakers in that class, but I put a lot of work and time into it because I really cared about getting better at this, and it brought on so much improvement on my level. Being the runner-up for the showcase is really no big deal, because I'm not going to speak at it, but that's okay.

Now I comment in church all the time, I comment in class, I ask questions, I talk to the people around me. I do things now that used to scare me to death. I will be forever ever grateful to my friend who made that comment to me, because now I realize that being a bad public speaker was not something I needed to accept. It's something I changed and can now say that I'm a much better public speaker than I was 6 months ago.

Anyway, this was a long post and I'm not really expecting many to read it, but this blog is kind of like my journal, so I like to record things. I would just like to say that yesterday went recorded as possibly a life top twenty (maybe top ten) day and I feel so happy and proud of myself. Conquer your fears! Follow your dreams! These things are actual possibilities. :)


Video Stuff (like the 4th of July and Dancing)

I'm not really sure why I'm sharing this video with you, because the dancing in it is not good. I had thirteen years of ballet training but I was never as good as most of the other girls, and my last ballet class happened five years ago so now my skills have diminished greatly since. Needless to say, my dancing skills are not at their current best.

Buuuut I still love it and I'm in a contemporary dance class right now at school, so sometimes I go find an empty studio on campus to practice in and just let myself do what I love. I made this totally on a whim, so nothing is choreographed and I'm can't help but criticize my technique as I watch it, but I think the video concept is fun so that's why I'm sharing it. Maybe I'll try something like this again with some actual choreography, we'll see. Anyway, let me know what you think...be nice to me!

Also, who cares if we aren't good at things? Does that mean we shouldn't do them or share us doing them with other people? Definitely not. I'm going to do the things I love, whether I'm good at them or not. :)

Next up, is a video of Stadium of Fire from the 4th of July! Yep, that was four months ago, but I'm extremely happy I waited to make this video until now because it meant I got to use Premiere Pro with it and make it look really cool. I love this video and think it's way fun, so feel free to spend a minute and a half of your life watching it.

What do you think? Of both videos! I'm having so much fun making movies lately, I do it so much!

I am hoping to get a nice DSLR camera soon so that my videos will look way more professional. Right now I use a Nikon L320 (basically a nice point and shoot) and it's super great and takes pretty good video, but I'm ready for the next level! Who's with me?!

Do you like making videos? If so, you should comment and link up where they're at so that we can be video-making friends! All of my videos are at this link on vimeo.


Pictures from Last Week

I love going to college and living in Provo. Since I'm graduating in June and don't really know what's going to happen in my life after that, I'm trying to enjoy everything as much as possible!

I had to take this photo of my new boots in the fall leaves lining our gutter because it looked so picturesque! Fall can't leave, I love it too much!
A photo posted by Kailee Cristina Brown (@kikicbrownee) on

Monday was FHE and we had a bonfire, roasting marshmallows and starbursts and making s'mores.

My friend Matt (also pictured in the FHE selfie up above) and I were talking about the Parent Trap handshake, so one night he came over and we learned it! Pretty great, and here's the video I posted on instagram of it:
A video posted by Kailee Cristina Brown (@kikicbrownee) on

This past weekend was a fun one. Friday night I met up with my old roommate Jenna and we went to a concert at Velour, one of the local concert places people often going to in Provo. It was super fun! I haven't been to Velour in forever and when I've gone before some of the bands haven't been great, since it's a place for local bands to play. But I got to hear RKDN and VanLadyLove, both whose music I'd never heard before but now LOVE. Finding awesome new music is the best!
(l to r: Robbie (Jen's cousin), Jenna, lead singer of VanLadyLove, and me)

Jenna and I were only roommates for two months, which seems absolutely crazy to me, because it felt like we lived together for so much longer than that, and we are such great friends! I'm glad we got to hang out and hopefully we get to do it again soon!

This is one of my favorite RKDN (pronounced Arcadian) songs...it has that kind of 80s vibe that's pretty popular and cool right now:

And this is a favorite from VanLadyLove:

Saturday morning (which turned into the afternoon) I had a brunch with my best group of girl friends. It was so fun and we ended up hanging out for like 5 hours! Haha I had so much homework to do and had no time to do it because we spent so much time together. It was great though, because it was the first time all five of us were together in three years! This was us three years ago, right before Jessica left on her mission (I feel like we've changed so much since then!):
(l to r: Lauren, Alyne, Jessica, Sarah, me)
Jessica went on a mission and then Lauren went on a mission right before Jessica got back and in between all of that Alyne and Sarah got married! Pretty crazy. So we had such a blast hanging out. We've still hung out regularly and as often as possible, like once a week or every other week, but it hasn't been all of us for three years.

Haha and now here we are with a giant bear! Alyne and her husband Cameron got this bear from Costco and to say it's huge is basically an understatement! It was pretty much love at first sight for all of us with this bear, named Max. He's also an excellent cuddle buddy haha.

Anyway, I'm so glad to have friends like these ladies and still be so close with them after so many years of friendship! They are my favorites and I hope we stay friends for a long loooong time. :)


Heidi and Travis's Wedding Video! (and using Premiere Pro)

Heidi and Travis got married like three months ago and it took me that long to finally get around to making their wedding video (I wrote about their wedding at the end of this post). This is by far my most favorite wedding video (and possible just video in general) that I've made. I had a lot of fun adding effects and fun things. Check it out! It's eight minutes long, but you'll enjoy it, the wedding was way cute and so much fun.

Also, let me just say this, Adobe Premiere Pro is AWESOME.

It's the video editing software I've been using now and dang its been an improvement, especially since I was just using Windows Movie Maker before. Movie Maker is awesome for small, quick projects, it's free, and it's really easy to use, but on the negative side, it crashes ALL the time, you can't really edit the contrast of videos (so if it's dark, there isn't much you can do about it), the music gets off from the actual videos in the editing process, and the final product sometimes ends up with black spots in the middle of frames. Random stuff like that that really bugs me.

Premiere Pro is a way more professional software and I was super intimidated when I started to use it. I went back to Movie Maker because that was what I knew but then I got frustrated again and decided I was just going to buck up and learn Premiere Pro! And once you get the hang of it, it's really pretty easy. There are endless amounts of tutorials on youtube to learn how to do whatever you want on there, so that's what I did, and it's turned out pretty great so far. You have a lot more control, like over editing lighting and what you want the music to do or where exactly you want your videos, etc. I love being able to add transitions like light leaks (at the beginning of the video above and throughout), split screen (at 6:11 and other places) and cool other effects like making the video look older (one of my favorite parts! Its at 2:53).

Anyway, to say it in a nutshell, I'm so happy with how this video turned out and I'm excited to make more!

Also, if you are getting married and need a wedding videographer, email me! I would love to do it and am super cheap because I don't have a super professional camera or anything and am still learning. I feel like having some sort of footage from your wedding is so important, and it doesn't necessarily have to cost you a ton of money. But seriously, email me and we can work something out. :)

Oh, my friends and I made this music video while we were at the wedding in between the luncheon and reception. So if you want to laugh and see our pretty great (I think)  music video, here it is!


Fun! Friends! Fondue!

(l to r) my cousin Alex, Andre, Bryan, me!, Carli, Stephen (Olivia's bf), Olivia, and Jessica

(ha.. sorry for the cheeseball title)
Lately I've been trying to cook more (a few weeks ago I made some good white chicken chili), which is always an adventure haha. I loooove making and eating fondue, but its obviously much more enjoyed with good company. I'd been wanting to do it for a while but things kept coming up so Sunday was finally the day we made it happen.

I definitely had some help with making everything and thank goodness because it probably would have burned or tasted disgusting! I try to cook but try is the key word there. ;) We had a fun time eating and feeling gross afterward from all the cheese and chocolate we ate haha!

After fondue we watched the CES Devotional by Elder Hallstrom of the seventy and I feel kind of bad admitting this but man, we couldn't help but laugh at what a lot of the choir members were doing behind the prayer (like looking up quickly and then back down, moving their eyebrows, making faces, yawning--poor guys, they probably didn't realize they were being watched so closely!). We should probably be more reverent haha. And then we jammed with Bryan for a while on the guitar.

I'm so glad to have great and close friends! Life really wouldn't be much fun without them. It's been a fun semester so far :)


Happy Halloween 2014!

Halloween this year was pretty chill, since I currently don't have a job and I only have one class on Fridays. I didn't really dress up (though I did wear my Hogwarts Alumni shirt throughout the day), which compared to last year at the daycare and two years ago dressing up at work and throwing and going to numerous Halloween parties (won't lie, that was probably the best Halloween ever), it kind of sounds lame! But I think chill was exactly what I wanted and I had a great time!

In the morning, my stats group and I ended up skipping our class and getting together for breakfast and doing the group assignment at one girl's apartment instead. It was a lot of fun, I love my stats group! They keep me going to class instead of skipping all the time haha.

That night my roommates and I went bowling at the BYU Games Center because it was only $1. Can I just say how much I love these girls? They're my favorite people and I'm so glad I get to live with them and hang out with them, we have so many fun times that I don't even get to photograph.
A photo posted by Kailee Cristina Brown (@kikicbrownee) on  

Carli was a pirate, Jessica was a nerd (we had her wear pens in her pocket, wear nerd glasses, and tuck her shirt in), Olivia looks insanely a ton like Shailene Woodley so she dressed up like Tris from Divergent, and I was a Harry Potter alumnus, wearing my shirt, gryffindor cardigan, and time turner!
She really looks so much like Tris! (see real actress here)
After that we went to the store to get movie snacks and then went home and watched Fun Size, which is a pretty cheesy movie but that made it pretty funny and it was also Halloween themed. :)

In church today I drew my Halloween story so if you wanna get all the details here it is. A peek into my personal writings haha.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...