4.26.2015

A Quick Random Sort-of Update

I keep trying to start this post and then I just erase it because it doesn't sound good, so I think I'm just going to do this thing where I just type for like five minutes.

I haven't written on this blog in over a MONTH. Which is honestly a long time for me. Not only have I not written in here for a while, but it's been months since I've really written anything in my journal. I take it to church on Sundays and take notes and doodle, but I don't write write. I tried to like a month ago and I couldn't do it.

Some people know this about me, some don't, but I struggle with anxiety. It's not something that I really try to keep secret, but I wouldn't say it'd be the first thing I use to introduce myself to people either haha.

Recently, it's been a lot worse. School always makes it worse. Everything gets really overwhelming and then I start avoiding it all, and then when I try to face this stuff, I freak out and it's very hard for me to do. So I think part of the reason I haven't been writing is because I've been avoiding stuff and avoiding talking about it. I'm not really completely sure, but that's my small interpretation of it.

Anyway, I don't know what else to write about that. Hopefully soon I'll get back in the groove of writing and tell you about stuff like Questival, graduation, my most recent fashion show (and details for the one I did back in October), and other life stuff. Coming up next week, I'm going to Boston and New York for my cousin Alex's wedding, which will be way fun.

I love this blog and everything it gives me, but for now it has to take a short ride in the back seat for me to get everything organized and figured out.

I'm not really sure what this post was supposed to be, it was mostly just a little venting sesh I guess. Everything is still pretty much the same, I'm still videoing a bunch and loving fashion and designing clothes. I will update on everything soon! And if you are reading this, thanks for your support and readership, I love it! Have a great Sunday. :)

3.14.2015

Sunday

 Last weekend I had the chance to go home and spend it with my family, which was fun, because I hadn't been home in a while. Saturday night we went to see The Addam's Family musical at the high school my mom works at, and it was really good and funny! It's amazing to see how much talent there is everywhere you go in the world.

Sunday was a great day. Very chill and I spent some of it taking pictures with my new 50mm lens! I absolutely love it and kept gushing about how good this lens was to my family.

Pretty sure they were tired of hearing about it, but they posed for pictures anyway. Isn't family great?

My mom decided she wanted to pose for a good picture after I took the one above haha.

This picture above basically describes me..every day! I have absolutely fallen in love with my camera and its video and picture-taking abilities. It makes me pretty happy and I love getting to document all of life with it.

Oh yeah, one more kind of exciting thing happened on Sunday...

I CUT MY HAIR! I haven't cut it (besides trims) for about five years because I made a promise to myself long ago that I wouldn't cut it until I got married. Ha! Well, that doesn't look like it's happening anytime soon, and if it does, then I guess I'll have short hair at my wedding! ;)

But in all seriousness, I love my short hair! And so does everyone else haha. I've gotten a ton of compliments on it. It was definitely time for a change, and I've been wanting to cut it for a little while, so it came at a perfect time. My mom cut it for me and I think she did a great job! It's been so fun this week to keep looking at myself in the mirror and remembering that I have different hair. I keep forgetting! I know it's just hair, but it makes me really happy and it feels like it matches my personality perfectly right now.

So yep...pretty good Sunday! Cheers to short hair and double that to spending time with family. :)

3.11.2015

Lessons Learned

I got a less than desirable score on one of my tests today and it made me mad for so many reasons. One, I really love the class it was for, Theories in Family Perspectives. It's a required class in my major, so I'm only taking it because I have to, but turns out that the class is actually very interesting and my professor is great, so I absolutely love the class and everything we're learning in it. It's all super useful and interesting!

The majority of my frustration, however, comes from the fact that I know I could have done way better on the test had I just given myself more time to take it. I didn't go into the testing center until 9 and it closes at 10, and even though I'm a fast test taker, I was rushing to finish at the end and I'm absolutely sure I would have done better with even just a half-hour more.

Which brings me to the title of this post, which is that sometimes we have to learn things the hard way. We have to experience unfortunate things, like getting a bad score on a test, so that we learn and don't do it again.

My week this week is INSANELY busy. It's midterms week so I've had two tests and a ton of things due, and on top of that, I'm working more hours this week and I have to sew things for a fashion show coming up in three weeks. It's been so busy, and yet somehow, I still can't help but be a yes man.

Yesterday, I told this guy in my ward that he could come over and use my machine to sew some stuff, which was fine. But today, I realized I should have told him I was just way too busy. But being the nice person I feel like I always have to be, I let him come over, just telling him I was busy and he couldn't stay for long. Buuut, I think he kinda liked me and was thinking I liked him, so he was just making conversation and he stayed for like an hour, way longer than I had planned for! I wasn't annoyed at him or anything, he's a nice guy, I was just annoyed with myself, because I'm in charge of managing my schedule and I did it poorly. This unfortunately meant that I couldn't go to institute (one of my favorite parts of the week) because I had to study for my test, and because it was so last minute studying, I wasn't able to give myself enough time to take the test.

I realize this is really a pointless blog post, but I'm just kind of mad. Mad because I could have done well if I'd had enough time, mad because I didn't get to go to institute (and then came to find out from my roommates later that there had been Costco pizza AND Krispy Kreme donuts for the treats, which made me want to cry), and mad because I put other people before myself.

That isn't always a bad thing to do, but today I realized that I need to do it less. Good for me for helping someone, but in the end, I did badly on my test, which will affect my grade in the class and ultimately my GPA. I could have helped him tomorrow or later too when I had more time. Point being, you can't help others until you help yourself. I'm not saying to be selfish, but it's important for me to take care of myself and take care of the necessary things FIRST.

Anyway, my lowest test score in the class will get dropped so I just have to study really well for all the other tests and do much better than I did today, so that's good, but lesson learned! I hate learning things the hard way. :P Rant over!

3.07.2015

the best ones

Wanna hear a cool story? So once upon a time, when I was just a lowly 19 year-old sophomore in college, I was in a terrible living situation, with a roommate/ex-best friend who refused to talk to me and a desperate need for some friends. I was really lonely, and I cried all the time. One day, out of the blue, my friend Katherine, who was also going to BYU, and a friend from my high school, called me, saying they had an open spot in their apartment and would I want it? I knew most of the other girls from high school too, not super well, but we were friends, and I knew they were all really nice and fun girls. It was honestly crazy, because they had absolutely NO idea what I was going through, they just had the feeling they should call me. It was a no-brainer for me to move out and take the spot. And let me tell ya...it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

There are some friends you hope to stay friends with forever. Some of them you do, and some of them you don't. It's hard to know how friendships will turn out when people move away, get married, and go separate ways.

For a few years, I got to live with the best roommates I ever had. They were the BEST. Our lives were filled with quote walls, road trips, Friday night hang outs and Saturday night movies, summer bucket lists, talking about boys way too late at night, making music videos, and taking a gazillion pictures. When I think of my college experience, I will always think of these girls and the amazing times we had.

Of course, life changes, and at the end of summer 2013, we all kind of went our separate ways. Some got married, the others moved, and I stayed in Provo. Not gonna lie, it was one of the hardest things ever for a few months to not have those girls as my roommates. I missed them all like crazy and it was a big adjustment. I guess I can often be an emotional and sentimental person too, which does not help in situations like that haha.

I think I kind of assumed we might not stay friends after that. Me and my insecurities...always getting the best of me! ;) I was so wrong. Since we've been roommates, we've still found time to get together when everyone is in town, do Sunday dinners with the ones still in Provo, go to mission homecomings, weddings, and be there whenever we can. And every time we do, we have a great time and laugh until our cheeks hurt (haha no joke).




We got together Thursday night, and as I started writing this post, I was just going to link the "goodbye post" I thought I'd written when we all went our separate ways, but turns out I never wrote it! It's a year and a half late, but let me just say... I'm so lucky and grateful to have friends like these. Some of the best years of my life were spent with them and they are the best. We all continue to grow and move on, but the one thing that I hope never changes is our friendship.

LOVE THEM.

3.04.2015

Shake it OFF

So on Monday we had a ward talent show, and it was so much fun! It was supposed to be back in January, and I wanted to make a music video for it, so a couple months ago, we got a bunch of the ward members together and filmed all over campus (sorry, that was a really long sentence haha!). We had a pretty good time and I loved getting to edit and put it together. Let me know what you think!


I'm pretty happy I found this hobby of mine, because I really like it. :)

Oh! In other, WAY more exciting news, Carrie Underwood had her baby yesterday! So exciting! They named him Isaiah Michael Fisher and I wanna see a picture so bad but at the same time I wanna respect their privacy haha. His birthday is exactly one week before Carrie's, such fun!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...