11.08.2012

Forgetting

It is so easy to forget certain things. It's easy to forget how they made us feel, how they hurt us, or how they warmed our hearts. We forget, and then we think we're fine. We let go of people, of hobbies, like we are emotionless robots.. It was easy for me to let go of the piano, for instance. I came to school and there was no piano around and no time for me to play, so I let myself forget. I stopped practicing, I stopped caring about the thing that used to be a major part of my life, something that could always make me feel better and happy.

But we forget how it is even easier to remember. One touch, one sound can send us reeling back into emotion. We see a room and memories come swirling into our minds and it all comes back to us. One photo reminds us the way we felt when we were with a person, the way it feels without them now. I got a calling in my ward to be the choir piano player, and because the songs seem to be really difficult, I have to practice multiple times a week to get it right...today I finally remembered what it was like to really play. To love the music that came from those keys. I played for two hours because I couldn't stop my fingers from moving, from remembering.

Why is it so easy to forget sometimes, but then even easier to remember? Why do we have to go through all the pain of letting go only to have memories come swirling back at us at unexpected and unwanted moments in time? Why do we have to remember when sometimes all we want to do is forget?

The piano is one thing I'm glad I remembered, one thing I'm happy I couldn't let go of. But there are other memories that all I want to do is push to the back of my mind and never remember again. Sometimes though, the pain will never leave. It's a part of us, it makes us who we are...broken, unique, loving, and individual human beings. And when I remember that, I hope with all my heart that even though sometimes I wish I can, that I'll never forget the things, as painful or as hard as they may be or once were, that make me, me.

2 comments:

  1. beautiful post. Thanks for sharing, Kailee. There are things that I wish I could just forget too. But our minds are complicated things. Thanks for reminding me that even the things we wish we could forget make us who we are!

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  2. Lovely post! I had a similar experience as a vocalist. I stopped singing for a few years but when I went back to it, boy was it a sweet experience.
    http://thehappyhealthywholegirl.blogspot.com/

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