One of the reasons I really love Carrie Underwood's music is because it is totally relatable (apparently this isn't a word? but using it anyways) to my life. I think almost every song I listen to of hers I'm like "yes! that's so me!" or "she knew exactly what I was feeling and put it in a song!" For any instance in my life, good or bad, I can find a Carrie Underwood song for it and I'll feel better.
There's been one area of my life that has always been hard for me and that is...boys. It's not that it's hard for me to talk to them or to like them to even find boys that like me. It's just my love life in general that has been a pretty big trial in my life since I've been sixteen years old to now (and what I'm writing is totally serious..I'm just saying that because I could see people taking this as a joke, which it totally isn't! Sometimes funny, but true, and often hard). I've still never been in a serious relationship, or really any relationship for that matter, and I say this hoping that you won't judge me or anything, but I'm a 21 year-old girl and have still never been kissed. And honestly, that's a super hard thing to deal with. It's embarrassing, and every single day of my life I ask myself if there is something wrong with me. There probably is something wrong with me, but I don't really know what it is. In all truthfulness, I feel like I've had really bad luck with guys. I seem to attract all the boys I'm not attracted to--some of them are weirdos and some of them are nice but I just know it's never going to happen. I find lots of guys I think are cute and actually there have been quite a few that have liked me back, but for one reason or another, they stop calling, they find another girl, they have commitment issues, or they just decide they're not interested. It's the worst, and every guy I cry over I find myself thinking the same thing...that I'm done trying, that I'm done hoping, because it never really works out.
So whenever this happens, to try and get a smile out of me...I listen to this song: "The More Boys I Meet"
And for the boys that break my heart and make me cry? This song, "Undo It" is for them:
(and see those people at the concert? That's gonna be me on Wednesday!!!)
Because of all these heartbreaks and it never working out for me I think it's gotten really hard for me to let myself get close to people. There are definitely other reasons and experiences I’ve had that are too personal to share on here that contribute, but this is a big factor. I wasn't even a person to get super close to people before, but I don't think any of this has helped. I don’t let myself get my hopes up when a new guy comes along, because I’m already expecting him to drop me before anything can even happen. This is a terrible attitude, but right now I feel like I've kind of given up on guys because I just don't want to deal with any of it anymore. But I think, and hope, that when the right guy does come along, it will work out, and I will be able to open up and trust again. And when that happens, I’m going to listen to “Quitter” over and over again. I love this song so much, and I think it totally describes me. It’s my second most played song in my music library, so let that show you how much I love it.
Enjoy three more of my favorite Carrie songs and hearing all about why I'm still single haha. Until tomorrow! :)