8.12.2012

Ch-ch-Changes

Quick! I need to blog before the day ends.
I've been busy all day with going to the International Summerfest in Bountiful, looking for a bridesmaid's dress to wear at my friend Alyne's wedding, and then going to Alyne's bridal shower tonight.
And now here I am.
I have been loving this blogging every day thing actually. It's a little consistency in my life that makes me very happy.
As I belted my heart out to songs from musicals on the way from Provo tonight, I also got some thinking done in my head...
an hour can feel like such a long drive sometimes.
I say fireworks going off in Pleasant Grove and I was reminded of my friend Amy's post as I thought, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."
I'm really really happy with my life right now.
I have changed so much in the past few months, past summer, past year. 
But it's a good change. Because I'm just becoming a more enhanced version of myself. A better version.
I find my style evolving from super girly and always trying to look perfect to a more casual, relaxed, and more me look of t-shirts and shorts, my grasshopper shoes worn daily, and everything more simpler.
I sing louder in church and I sing along more in the car--when I'm with people and when I'm alone. I'm trying not to be afraid of my voice.
I'm also trying not to be afraid of what I want to do, which really can be quite scary. More and more I have the words coming out of my mouth telling people I want to design clothes, and instead of the disturbed looks or the "you'll never be able to make it," I expect, I get admiration or a "that's really cool."
It's really amazing when you start to realize that people don't think negatively of you or even think of you as much as you train yourself to imagine.
Oh and of course I've stopped biting my nails, which, in short, means I am not relying on one of my coping mechanisms anymore.
These changes seem so small and minute, but they are steps, and every step up gets me closer to the top, which is where I think we're all trying to reach. And together, they do create big changes. I feel like a more different person every day, although it's really just me becoming more me and accepting myself a little more every day.
Who knows, maybe someday I will make huge changes, like sharing my deepest and darkest secrets here on this blog (I know, I know, you definitely want to read about those, right? Kidding.) because I don't want to care about what people think of me.
We'll see. :)
Either way, I'm content right now. I have an awesome family and amazing friends. There isn't much more a girl can ask for, right?? (Well, maybe a boyfriend....okay okay kidding! Sort of.)
Night :)

1 comment:

  1. I really love this post Kailee! I can relate a lot to the growth that you've experienced. It's definitely that stage in our lives when we are learning to have greater faith in ourselves, and even though it's challenging, it can be so rewarding... especially in those quiet moments when you realize how far you've come. Love ya girlie. :)

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