4.16.2012

Change

The end is near. I'm leaving Provo on Wednesday, then my roommates, some other friends, and I are going to the Grand Canyon on a road trip from Thursday to Sunday, then it's Harry Potter world and a Disney cruise with my family from Tuesday to Monday, then it's a week at home, and then the second week of May I take off for Boston.

I want to say that I'm so totally psyched to be going to Boston, and I know that will come, but right now I'm just feeling incredibly scared. It's been a week full of goodbyes with my roommates, best friends, and people who I've come to know and love in this place I now call home.

Change is hard. It always is. When my family moved when I was fourteen it was hard. I found myself crying in my bed the night we moved, so scared and feeling so lonely. But I got through it and good things came from the move. I'd never change how it happened because of all of the people I met because of it and how much I love where we live now. Change was hard when I came to college. My parents dropped me off in the Wilkinson Center and as I gave them goodbye hugs and watched them turn the corner, the tears couldn't help but come. But college turned out to be great and the best thing that could have happened for me in my life at that time. When I moved apartment complexes last year, getting different roommates and moving wards, I knew it was for the best, but I got there and my first night in my now apartment, I cried. But that might have been one of the best changes I ever made, because I got the most amazing roommates I ever could have and the best ward. And right now as I sit in my bed, my second to last night in this bedroom, the tears slide down my cheeks. Because change awaits, and in my life, change generates tears.

Change isn't a bad thing, it's just a hard thing, and it really is okay that I cry over it. The tears mean that I'm leaving something I care about, something that was the best thing for me at that time in my life. And the change means that it's time to move on, because something else will be better for me at the time coming up.

I promise I'm not ungrateful, and I know it's probably going to be one of the greatest summers ever. Right now though, I'm just going to let the tears come. Out of fear of the unknown and the pain of leaving the ones I love.

It'll be okay. :)
My roommates and I this past Sunday. I love this picture, and I love these girls even more. :)

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