Last Words

This week has been a sad one. I find myself reading something else in the news...a bombing, a missing girl, an explosion; it doesn't seem to end. I read the stories of these people who died or who have been critically injured and I cry. The pictures are things I didn't realize existed outside of a movie screen. But it's real.

I don't know how to quite compose my thoughts on all of these things. I cried for days when I found out about Newtown in December. I cried when I heard about Boston on Monday. Those were real people in a place where I was for a whole summer last year. Those people have families and on a day that should have been filled with success and happiness, they ended up feeling heartbroken and hurt over the loss or injuries of their friends and family.

The pain in my chest is something difficult to describe, and I feel somewhat guilty for feeling it. Because it didn't really happen to me. It happened to people on the other side of the country or to people a few states away. A family lost a son this week. Another family might have lost a father or a mother. I'm so lucky to have my loved ones safe, but I still feel the pain. I still cry. It hurts. It makes me so sad.

Things like this make me want to drive home right now just so I can give my parents and siblings the biggest hug, tell them how much I love them, and never let go. Life is so precious, and it becomes more so every day. I thought earlier about what I would say to my family if I knew they were going to be my last words. And all I'd want to tell them is how much I love them. I can't say that enough to make it equal to how I feel, and I hope that they know that. I love my family so so much.

I'm scared, but I'm also grateful. I'm scared, because I don't know what's going to happen next--who will be the next victim, which place will have more fatalities. Everything is so uncertain and that scares me to death. I don't know how much longer I'll have with my loved ones or how much longer they'll have with me. But I'm grateful. Grateful to be alive and to have my family and friends alive. I'm grateful to live in a nation that comes together in times like these, as hard as they may be. I'm grateful that no matter what, I'll always have a Heavenly Father up there looking out for me.

I'm praying for anyone this week who lost a loved one, who was hurt, who was there, or who is struggling over this. I'm praying that as a nation, we can come together and rise up from the ashes. We're strong and we can make it through this.

Oh. My. Goodness.

This just came out like ten minutes ago and I've already watched it like three times. I'm sharing it with you and then I'm gonna go watch it again. Ahhhhhhh I AM SO EXCITED!!!


November cannot come soon enough. Seriously.

Hey Provo/Orem People!

As many of you know, I LOVE throwing parties. It's like one of my favorite things ever, only second to fashion. I've thrown Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and Halloween themed parties, and this Wednesday I'm throwing another one! It's gonna be totally great.

Above is the invite, and here's the link to the event page on facebook if you would like to come (which, of course you want to come..it's going to be awesome!). You can bring friends and invite whoever you want. I would love to see you there!

(ps. this is the reason blogging has not been happening for the past week. I've been working a ton and when I'm not at work, I'm party planning and preparing! But no worries, regular blog posts will resume shortly).

Oh HEY!

If you aren't busy today at 10 or 2 (mst time...convert for your time), you should watch some general conference. It's a great way to hear some inspirational words and if you aren't Mormon, it's a great way to learn about us. Seriously, I am not trying to convert you, I'm just giving you something that would make your day happier and more uplifting. Check it out! And have a great Sunday either way. :)

Carrie Lady

Guess what, it's my half birthday today! I'm 21 and a half! I totally didn't realize it until 10 pm when my coworker asked if it was the 4th. Glad I got to enjoy for two hours at least. ;) Normally I write posts late at night (like 11-midnight ish) and then schedule them to publish the next day, but I'll publish this one now in honor of my half birthday.

Today, I realized something. Something...probably not good haha. I have five Carrie Underwood shirts, several posters of her, have a CU pillowcase (are you really surprised??), and a cardboard cutout of her. Not to mention that I've been to three of her concerts, own all the CDs and every song she has ever sung/recorded, and have all of those songs memorized by heart. I could lose my memory and I would probably still know the words to every Carrie Underwood song.

If I never get married, I won't grow up to be a cat lady. Cats and I do not get along well. No, I will grow up to be a Carrie lady. I will probably have several Carrie Underwood cardboard cutouts and talk to them like they are alive. I'll celebrate her birthday and her half birthday and probably her quarter birthdays, and I'll forget my own birthday (seriously, I remembered Carrie Underwood's birthday but forgot my half birthday...the decline has begun...). Posters of Carrie will cover my walls and I will hum Carrie Underwood songs and have them playing in the background all day. My bed will have CU pillows and a CU bedspread. I will follow her to her every concert and security guards will have my face memorized because I'll be so crazy. Honestly, this is really creepy, and sadly, could you see this happening?

Please, please, please pray that I will marry at some point in my life so that this doesn't have to become my life. Maybe with a husband my obsession will be held back and hidden under the surface (just a bit, the cardboard cutout will always stay).