almost. done.

Blogging every day didn't work out too well...oops! We'll try again soon. Life goes on :)

I just finished reading this post when it really hit me.

I'm starting my last year at my dream college.

And then I'm done.

It's so crazy, because ever since I was like five (maybe not that young, although I wouldn't doubt it) I wanted to go to BYU. I see friends from my old town and they are like, "so are you at BYU?" because everyone knew it was my dream school.

And now, just like that, it's almost all over.

I worked pretty hard to get here, and not gonna lie, but the past three years have been tough and I've learned more than I ever thought I would while just going to school. But they have also been pretty darn amazing.

I took a lot of it for granted. There is no feeling like being at a university. No matter where I go, there will never be a place like this again where so many things are free and where so many people simultaneously spend their lives studying to death, trying to have every ounce of fun they can in the day, and still getting some sleep while doing it all.

This is it. One year left and then I'm gone from the place I've dreamed of for so long.

That really scares me a lot because I'm definitely ready to leave school and homework, but I don't know if I'm ready to move on to a new stage in life.

But there are more dreams that await.

Dreams of a career in fashion design that makes me just giddy thinking about it, dreams of living in new places, and dreams of finding a prince charming and someday having a family.

There will be so much left behind when I leave this awesome school, but there is even more to come. :)

(I will always remember the above photo as "the first photo of college." It was taken at freshman orientation with two of my freshman roommates Brooke (middle) and Hollie (right). For some reason I love this picture. I guess because it signifies the beginning of something very exciting in my life. Crazy, because it literally feels like just last week when this picture was being taken. Wow.)

JUNIEblake Giveaway Winners!

Time to announce the winners for the Junieblake giveaway! Thanks so much to everyone that entered, you guys are great! The winners are...(drum roll please)

Amy and Kelsie Rae!

Congrats girls! Email me at kikicbrownee-at-gmail-dot-com and I'll hook you up with your gift cards.

Thanks again to everyone that entered!!

Quicky

Fail on my goal to post every week!!

My excuse is: this week is education week, I have to wake up super early tomorrow to drive to Provo, I was in Provo all day today, I have to go to bed early tonight, and my sleep matters more to me than a blog. That's definitely good, right?

(I know that people don't really care whether I post every day or not--you don't, do you? This post is just for my own sanity)

Expect a normal post tomorrow most likely!

K goodnight, sorry for like the most pointless post ever. This is barely a post, I'd have to call it more a "flash post."

Okay really though. Night!

:)

*I just realized I put every week instead of every day at the top. Proof that I am very tired.

Ch-ch-Changes

Quick! I need to blog before the day ends.

I've been busy all day with going to the International Summerfest in Bountiful, looking for a bridesmaid's dress to wear at my friend Alyne's wedding, and then going to Alyne's bridal shower tonight.

And now here I am.

I have been loving this blogging every day thing actually. It's a little consistency in my life that makes me very happy.

As I belted my heart out to songs from musicals on the way from Provo tonight, I also got some thinking done in my head...

an hour can feel like such a long drive sometimes.

I say fireworks going off in Pleasant Grove and I was reminded of my friend Amy's post as I thought, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."

I'm really really happy with my life right now.

I have changed so much in the past few months, past summer, past year. 

But it's a good change. Because I'm just becoming a more enhanced version of myself. A better version.

I find my style evolving from super girly and always trying to look perfect to a more casual, relaxed, and more me look of t-shirts and shorts, my grasshopper shoes worn daily, and everything more simpler.

I sing louder in church and I sing along more in the car--when I'm with people and when I'm alone. I'm trying not to be afraid of my voice.

I'm also trying not to be afraid of what I want to do, which really can be quite scary. More and more I have the words coming out of my mouth telling people I want to design clothes, and instead of the disturbed looks or the "you'll never be able to make it," I expect, I get admiration or a "that's really cool."

It's really amazing when you start to realize that people don't think negatively of you or even think of you as much as you train yourself to imagine.

Oh and of course I've stopped biting my nails, which, in short, means I am not relying on one of my coping mechanisms anymore.

These changes seem so small and minute, but they are steps, and every step up gets me closer to the top, which is where I think we're all trying to reach. And together, they do create big changes. I feel like a more different person every day, although it's really just me becoming more me and accepting myself a little more every day.

Who knows, maybe someday I will make huge changes, like sharing my deepest and darkest secrets here on this blog (I know, I know, you definitely want to read about those, right? Kidding.) because I don't want to care about what people think of me.
We'll see. :)
Either way, I'm content right now. I have an awesome family and amazing friends. There isn't much more a girl can ask for, right?? (Well, maybe a boyfriend....okay okay kidding! Sort of.)
Night :)

nail update

So guess what?! I haven't bitten my nails for TWO WEEKS!

They don't look super long in the picture, but I promise you, they are longer than they have ever been. I had to take off my nail polish because I went to Goshen two days ago and my nails looked beautiful and long. I've only seen my nails when they've had jagged edges and just looked really gross.

This is a habit I've had pretty much since I was born, and to be honest, it was something I never ever in a million years thought I'd overcome. But somehow it's happening and it is wonderful. I realized after I took this picture that it looked like I might be engaged or something, but right now this is an even bigger accomplishment (although with my luck in dating, getting engaged will probably even beat this on the accomplishment scale when [if????] it happens haha).

So basically, habits can be broken! Sometimes you just have to wait for the right time and work at it, and eventually you find the miracle.

{Pssst...don't forget to enter my awesome giveaway! Go here to enter.}