Forgetting

It is so easy to forget certain things. It's easy to forget how they made us feel, how they hurt us, or how they warmed our hearts. We forget, and then we think we're fine. We let go of people, of hobbies, like we are emotionless robots.. It was easy for me to let go of the piano, for instance. I came to school and there was no piano around and no time for me to play, so I let myself forget. I stopped practicing, I stopped caring about the thing that used to be a major part of my life, something that could always make me feel better and happy.

But we forget how it is even easier to remember. One touch, one sound can send us reeling back into emotion. We see a room and memories come swirling into our minds and it all comes back to us. One photo reminds us the way we felt when we were with a person, the way it feels without them now. I got a calling in my ward to be the choir piano player, and because the songs seem to be really difficult, I have to practice multiple times a week to get it right...today I finally remembered what it was like to really play. To love the music that came from those keys. I played for two hours because I couldn't stop my fingers from moving, from remembering.

Why is it so easy to forget sometimes, but then even easier to remember? Why do we have to go through all the pain of letting go only to have memories come swirling back at us at unexpected and unwanted moments in time? Why do we have to remember when sometimes all we want to do is forget?

The piano is one thing I'm glad I remembered, one thing I'm happy I couldn't let go of. But there are other memories that all I want to do is push to the back of my mind and never remember again. Sometimes though, the pain will never leave. It's a part of us, it makes us who we are...broken, unique, loving, and individual human beings. And when I remember that, I hope with all my heart that even though sometimes I wish I can, that I'll never forget the things, as painful or as hard as they may be or once were, that make me, me.

Random Thoughts

- I have been reading like crazy this summer. A little while ago I discovered an amazing app on my ipod touch called iBooks and then I discovered an even better website where I've downloaded all my favorite books. So now wherever I go, my ipod goes, and I find myself reading everywhere. It's pretty much the best. I have 70 books on there and they only take up 0.1 GB, so it's awesome! Whenever I finish a book, there is another right there waiting for me. Maybe one of these days I'll write a book post to share what I've been reading. Also, it's time for me to start reading Harry Potter again...round number 12... ha ;)

- I saw this on pinterest and now I really want to do it. This is an amazingly cute idea to used Christmas lights year-round!


- Lately, I've been missing ballet. Like, a ton. I've been dancing around the house more than usual (my uncle laughs because every once in a while I'll just be standing there talking and then do a grand battement--basically a kick--out of nowhere. It's just so natural to me!) and I've been watching tv shows about dance, namely Dance Academy (netflix) and Bunheads (new show on ABC Family). So I decided I'm going to take a ballet class in the fall! I haven't taken one for about two years, but I'm totally ready and excited for this. It's only 3 days a week which is good, I did a class that was every day freshman year and it was too much. I'm not an amazing dancer by any means, but I'm ready to jump back into it. I'm only at school for another year, so might as well take advantage of the classes offered.

- Only two more weeks in Boston. I'm not really sure how I'm reacting to this yet. It's sad, but I am excited to see my family and friends again. I literally cannot believe how fast the summer flew by. But it's been a good summer, so far. I've really been cherishing it and having a blast here. I love the east coast.

I guess that's all for now. Nothing else is popping into my head and I better get some sleep so I can wake up for church in the morning. That's another thing, I've been sleeping in SO much! Guess I still haven't fixed my habits of reading late into the night...haha oh well, gotta go!

Funny

I was just thinking how funny it is how people come and go in our lives. How people matter one day and a few months, a year, a few years later, we don't really care anymore. We've moved on and gone on with lives.

The best part about this though is the memories. They never leave...we have experiences with people--good and bad--and we don't forget these experiences. Sometimes we want to forget, out of shame or from hurt. The happy ones make us feel warm inside and put a smile on our faces. The tough ones make us think and help us grow.

We need both experiences, the good and the bad ones. Without the good, we would never want to move forward, and without the bad ones we would never grow.

Together, they are life.

My Thoughts on the Hunger Games Movie

I’m warning you now that this post CONTAINS SPOILERS so don’t let me rain on your parade if you haven’t seen the movie yet.

I’ve seen the movie three times now, and a week after the release date, I feel like it’s time I better share the ever-present emotions I have concerning this movie. (Kidding. Kind of.)

My movie stub and Mockingjay pin (Hot Topic)

First off, I’d just like to say that I loved the movie. Like really adored it. I mean, I’ve seen it three times, right? It is one of the best (if not the best) depictions of a book to the big screen I’ve ever seen. Every time I watched the movie I didn’t find myself saying, “Oh that was dumb,” “They should have done this better,” or “They completely left out that one part!” I was ready to be saying all of these things to myself in the movie, because I’ve done this in almost all the Harry Potter movies. As a true fan of the Harry Potter books, having read them eleven times, I’d have to say that the movies are not even close to depicting how wonderful the books are. And as a true fan of the Hunger Games books as well, having read them 3 times each (not as much but they are newer), I find myself saying that the movie was an exceptionally accurate portrayal of the book. Watching the movie, I felt like I was in the book, because it followed it so well and portrayed everything with an almost perfect accuracy. I’d have to say that the movie was just as good as, if not better than the Hunger Games book in some ways, which is definitely saying something.

One of the best parts of the movie was how they portrayed everything pretty much better than I could have imagined it. The beginning of the movie with the Seam felt so real; all of the dirty little children and the obvious look that everyone was starving and barely surviving. The capitol was amazing, and I loved seeing all the images I had in my head made even better on the screen. The citizens’ crazy costumes, all of the shiny-ness, the beauty of the rooms they stayed in, and everything made with a sort of rich-ness. It’s amazing going from showing the meager people in District 12 to the privileged people of the Capitol. And by amazing, I also mean sickening. The Capitol people have more than enough to spare and the people in the districts are living on nothing.

There were other little things I loved about the setting as well—the parachutes that came with their little sound letting the tributes know they were there, the orange backpack Katniss gets at the beginning of the Games, and the large, looming cornucopia filled with supplies. I also loved how they incorporated showing Seneca Crane and the Gamemakers put things in the game as they went. It was fun to see what went on behind the games, something we don’t get the opportunity of envisioning in the books.

The characterization and casting were incredible. I don’t think they could have had a better cast for this movie. Of course Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson were amazing as Katniss and Peeta, but the other people that were cast made all the difference. My personal favorites were Effie Trinket and Caesar Flickerman. Effie had the best costumes and the funniest lines, like “That is mahogany!” and “Manners!” that had the whole audience laughing because she was so ridiculous yet so serious about the rules, just how she should be. Caesar Flickerman had awesome blue hair and he was the best show host I’ve ever seen (regardless of the fact that it was in a movie). I loved all the faces of his that they showed on the screen when he was being introduced because it just made him that much greater.

The careers were also well chosen…the girl who played Glimmer was such a Barbie yet incredibly freaky at the same time. The girl who played Clove actually played Esther in that movie Orphan and if you watch the trailer, she looks so scary! She was such a creep and the perfect Clove in the movie. Cato was attractive and evil and Marvel was full of himself and had a really dorky smile (still good though). And of course there were the other main tributes that were equally talented…Rue, Thresh, and Foxface. Everyone was their character. It’s like they were pre-destined to be in this movie. ;)

Careers

But there was one aspect of the movie that really sold me and made it more than just a "movie." The Hunger Games is a Dystopian novel, meaning it talks about a controlled society, usually in the future (wiki it). And I feel like that is what the movie protrays better than the book ever could. I know that the book is something Suzanne Collins wrote as a statement for our society, to show us what we really are like. I got that from the book, but only kind of. I really got that from the movie though. Walking out of that theater after seeing it for the first time, I felt like it really spoke to me in that sense. Let me paint a picture for you:

In Panem, they have the Capitol citizens, dressed in their absolutely crazy and ridiculous outfits that would make Lady Gaga jealous. Every year they watch 24 kids kill each other for their entertainment. How sick is that? Then you have the people in the districts. They're as poor as can be, scrounging for whatever meal they can get, where many people just die from starvation. The Capitol citizens know this is going on, and yet, even though they have all the resources and money to help out the people in the districts, they do nothing. Sure, they sponsor tributes during the Games and give a small portion of their money to help out, but it means nothing to them. They walk around in their gaudy dresses and eat until they have to force themselves to throw up so they can eat some more (that happens in Catching Fire). And then there's also District 13. They are hidden from view, maybe struggling a little but they are getting by just fine. The Capitol ignores them and they ignore the districts. For the time being, they are just trying to help themselves out, and when they finally have to rescue citizens from the destroyed District 12, they do it only because they need to strengthen their population. In Mockingjay, Katniss has the ever-present question in her head, and she even asks them once, "You knew that we were starving, but you didn't come help us....why?" District 13 gives excuses but ever since I read Katniss's question, I can't shake it out of my head....Why didn't you help us?

Suzanne Collins' novel is talking about our society, people! Celebrities that dress in outrageously priced clothes and others who dress up like clowns on steroids. They run reality shows for their own entertainment (which we also watch) and they have so much money. They know about all the third world countries and the starving children in Africa. And sure, they donate some money to causes, but it barely makes a dent into their wallet. And it's not enough to help those people out. So where do we, the middle class people, fit? We're not as gaudy as the Capitol but we're not as poor as a third-world country. We're doing okay, but let's go back to Katniss's question..."You knew we were starving, so why didn't you come help us?" No we're not amazingly off, but we are doing okay. Katniss is right, why aren't we helping?

And that is why I loved the movie so much. Why I feel sick to my stomach during the reaping, seeing all those sad faces of children who might get their name drawn to go fight to the death. Why I had tears streaming down my face when Rue dies, because I felt something. I felt so mad at the Capitol during the part of Rue's death, and I realized that Suzanne Collins and the filmmakers succeeded in getting me to feel what they wanted me to feel. Anger. A feeling of duty. And a want to change how things are.

The Hunger Games movie is incredible. If you haven't seen it yet, go. It's worth the $8 ticket to see it in the movie theater, you won't be disappointed.

Fire is catching, people, and it's time we light our flame. :)

It's Beginning to Look Like Autumn

it started to rain :)

Well, its definitely starting to feel like fall around here! Its been raining quite a bit the past few days and it's been getting cooler too. The leaves on the ground are getting crunchy and turning into lovely shades of yellow and orange. Midterms are in full swing, Homecoming is here, football games are at their peak, and Halloween decorations are covering store shelves like no other holiday has ever existed. Pumpkin flavored things are in almost every restaurant and every girl is pulling out her rainboots and cardigans for the cooler weather. I like it a lot. :) I feel like it's supposed to be fall and it's a time that I really enjoy. For one, my birthday. And then it means that lots of holidays are coming up: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. And holidays mean family, breaks from school, fun, and happiness (and fun shopping too!).

Probably the one thing that makes me sad about fall though is the fact that winter is just around the corner. After Christmas, it's winter semester, snow everywhere, no breaks or holidays, cold, not a lot of fun events like sports or stuff, and more sickness. :( Winter in Utah is what makes me want to live in California. But at least for now, fall is one of the reasons that reminds me why I love Utah too. I just hope it stays for a long long time...we could postpone snow until Christmas and I wouldn't mind it one bit!!

And random movie talk now...I watched Titanic today (don't worry, I skipped that one part, if ya know what I mean--it's a lot easier to do when watching it on the computer) because I haven't seen it in a while and I was kind of wanting to. Now I'm just thinking, "Why did I want to watch it again?" Titanic is one of those movies that I think I really love and is a good movie to watch every once in a while, but then for a few days after watching it, I can't stop thinking about all the sad and scary parts. Man, it was so intense and sad to watch. Another bad reason for not having seen it in a while is that I can remember what happens but not enough to convince myself that it will still happen. Like I still get anxious when I'm waiting to see if Jack will survive not drowning in the little basement room and I still get nervous because I'm wanting Rose to just blow the whistle so she survives. Of course, the movie always follows it's plot the way it has before but it still makes me anxious every time. Titanic really is such a good movie. It's very gripping and very sad and it's definitely a nail-biter. It's also a wonderful love story. I can't help but watch it and think how grateful I am that I was not born in that time and that I was not on that ship. I also can't help but just feel for every person on that ship, because I know what's going to happen the whole time, but they don't know. I like it because it focuses on the story of Rose and Jack, but not the entire time. It also shows the other stuff going on the ship, with the captain, the band, all the people on the lifeboats, the people jumping in the water, the crew, etc. Ahh I think I've convinced myself of the amazing-ness of this movie again! haha.

I think the lesson I learn from the movie and story of it (and I don't mean this in an insulting way at all, it's just my observation) was just that the Titanic was a very worldly thing. It was a huge fancy ship and said by many to have been "unsinkable." When they received the warning for the icebergs at night, they didn't stop like other boats, they just kept on going. They were too prideful to have enough lifeboats for all the passengers because it would have cluttered the deck. There were so many rich people on deck that were actually annoyed when told to put on their life jackets and no one wanted to believe that their magnificent ship was sinking. I guess it kind of makes me think about the Second Coming (okay, I'm getting a little churchy here..) and how like the people on Titanic, we need to be prepared, or else we're not going to make it. There were so many people by the end just jumping off the huge boat or clambering into life boats trying to save themselves. Some people didn't even try because they knew they wouldn't succeed. It's so sad. But it teaches me that I need to be ready for that now so that when it does happen, I don't freak out over it because I'll be ready and know it's coming. Sorry was that too LDS missionary sharing/churchy for you? I don't really talk about that stuff on here very often but maybe it's good to, because it is a part of I am and what I think about. And just to clarify, I'm in no way saying the people on the Titanic were bad or that they deserved to die. Not at all! But I do think they could have been more prepared for the outcome of it or could have done so many things to prevent it, as I'm sure many people know. It was just an analogy in my head. Wow, but really, it's a good movie. If you've never seen it (its PG-13 fyi), I'd recommend watching it because I think it's one of those movies that every person should see.

Anyways, why do I write SO much? So much that probably no one reads. Oh well, sorry for all the words taking up space on your browser. I hope it didn't drive you crazy! Have a great Thursday, it's almost the weekend!!!

First Day of School!

BYU is back in business ;)

New shoes!! So cute! Though I walked so much around campus and my feet kinda hurt now.

I just love every single thing in the picture. Like the cute telephone necklace! Ah, love it! Also my lovely coral blazer and the lace at the  top of my shirt. It's all beautiful.

This was how I felt about the first day of school. :) yep.

It came! Everyone came! I had my first day of my 3rd year at BYU today and it was wonderful. Random thoughts about the day...

• So this morning I curled my hair and I kid you not--like less than half an hour later the curls died! And they just died more the rest of the day! :( Hairspray and I are going to become best friends very soon...
• EEEEE! I love school.
• Today I had Intro to Family Processes, Strengthening Marriage and Family, and Costume Design! All of which have great teachers and all of which I LOVE!! (not to mention I unintentionally know 4 people in my Family Processes class..yay!)
• I didn't wear my coral blazer most of the day because it was kind of hot. But I love it still and will be wearing it a lot during this year.
• There are soooo many people on campus! I'm not used to it because there were a lot less during spring and summer.
• I couldn't stop smiling at people today because I just wanted to smile and because I'm happy.
• This doesn't have to do with classes, but the other day, my camera overheated and it went psycho! Like instead of looking like this...

They looked like this...

Weird, but cool.

Those were some of the things I thought about today as I walked from class to class or sat in class or just enjoyed the fact that I have class and that I. Am. So. Excited. I love school! The nerd in me is just bursting today. :)

How was everyone else's first day of school? Do you guys still get nervous, because I definitely do! And what cute outfits did you wear (I know you planned something cute..everyone does haha)? Let's hear about it!! I love talking about back to school stuff!

Lots of Thoughts

Before I say anything, can I first say that I absolutely love my blog header and layout and everything? Cuz I do. I  don't think I've really ever been completely satisfied but this layout will probably stay the same for a while. I keep typing in my blog address just because I like looking at everything! Haha I'm glad it makes me happy. :D

Random happenings...
Yesterday we celebrated my roommate Kelsey's 20th birthday! We got up early and made her breakfast and then sneakily made a cake and threw a surprise party! Boo ya! It was lots and lots of fun :)

I made my new favorite skirt from an old DI dress! I really just adore this skirt and it's perfect because I could make it the right length. GAH it's so cute and I'm so proud of it! I love knowing how to sew.

I loved the latest (and last one for a while) Glee episode! Spoilers...if you haven't seen it and are going to and don't want to know what happens then DON'T READ. You've been warned ;) They did original songs that were incredible and I love them and guess what?! The New Directions Glee Club finally won! They're going to nationals!!! Yay! We all knew it had to happen at some point so I'm glad it did. I love it whenever they beat Sue at something. Good > Evil.....always.

I miss this girl... :( But I get to see her and some of my fam on Saturday! YAY!

I'm so mad at myself because I haven't been giving myself time to play the piano so I haven't gone in a while. :( I think I'll probably go today.

I'm still so happy I survived getting my blood drawn! Except guess what stinks. I have to go back in 6 months just for them to make sure everything's okay. Which means...another blood draw. :( My face probably went so pale when the lady said that on the phone. But I think I'll be more ready this time. And I have 6 months to prepare myself!

(sorry, no blood drawing pictures. Otherwise I'll just pass out every time I look at my blog :P)

I love working at the bookstore. Just thought I'd make that known in case someone forgot. But I'm trying to find a second job for the summer...hopefully somewhere cool and where I can get a sweet discount..Forever 21? Or something like that? Yes.

Moving to a different apartment this semester was one of the best decisions I ever made. I have the BEST roommates. Seriously. None can compare. They are the nicest and funnest girls ever and I love living with them. I just feel so loved here, which is exactly what I need. I'm so excited to live with them for another whole year!

School ends in like a month! And then it's....SUMMER!!!! I can't wait!!

Huntington beach...ahhh :) I love that place.

Well, that's all. I'm glad I decided to nix the 30 day challenge because now I can blog freely! It's so much nicer, honestly. Anyways, have a happy Wednesday! Only two more days and it's Friday! :)