Why God Lets Bad Things Happen to Us

I think people wonder a lot--sometimes I wonder a lot--if God loves us, then why does he allow bad things to happen to us? If God loves me, then why am I not married or in a happy relationship? If God loves me, why didn't I get into that school or make that team? If God loves me, then why do I struggle with certain issues? If God loves me, then why did he take my mother, my father, my sister, or my brother away?

I hear people and I read articles and comments that say that if there truly were a God, then bad things wouldn't happen in this world. The Holocaust wouldn't have happened, 9/11 wouldn't have occurred; Lady Gaga wouldn't be popular and teachers would be rich. People say that life isn't fair, but the thing is that life isn't fair for anyone, so in a way it makes it fair for everyone.

We may never know until after this life why terrible, awful things like the Holocaust had to happen. We may never know why some children have to die so young and innocent, when they have beautiful lives ahead of them. There are many things we won't know for a long time, but I do know that our God is a just God and a loving God. I know that we are here on this earth not just to have a cushy happy life, but to learn and to grow. And in order to do that, we have to experience things that won't always be very happy.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, even when it all seems to be going terribly. I've seen it so many times in my life. One of these times happened when I was in high school. Since I was five years-old, I'd always been a ballet dancer. It was my love of my life, and while I knew that I probably wouldn't be able to turn it into a career, I wanted to keep dancing for as long as I could. In ninth grade, I remember seeing the high school dance company perform at our school and when I watched them dance I had a dream in my head that I wanted to be on the dance company. It was a small and simple dream, but I would have given anything for it. So when the end of ninth grade and dance company auditions came around, I was so excited to try out. Unfortunately, I didn't make it, and I went home sad and cried myself to sleep. A few days to weeks later, I got over it. I'd try again the next year. I figured it was harder to make it as a sophomore anyways. Auditions came around again the next year, I auditioned, but it wasn't meant to be and I didn't make it again. I was devastated. I remember looking at the list and seeing names of my friends from ballet class who'd made it. I got back to the car with my mom and we both cried together. She knew how much I wanted it and how badly it hurt not to make it. It hurt a lot more the second time around. I never understood why, and I'd pray to my Heavenly Father and ask him why, over and over again. I would have given up anything just to be on dance company.

It hurt when the year started again and I saw all my friends performing on stage in the welcome assembly while I sat in the audience. It hurt to see so many of them come to dance class with their brown sweats and gold duffel bags that I so badly wished I could have. At the end of my junior year, I tried out for dance company one more time. I think deep down I might have known that I wasn't going to make it, but I wanted it so much in my heart, and I couldn't let myself think "what if" for the rest of my life if I hadn't tried out. So try out I did, and I didn't make it. It was probably the hardest the third time around to once again look for my name but not see it on the list. I cried more and I wondered more of why I couldn't just have this one dream, the only thing I really had ever wanted. It was a little bit after around that time that I decided to try and get my Associate's degree from WSU by the time I graduated. Since I wasn't going to be on dance company, my parents could afford it and I had time for it. I took a lot of college credits that summer and actually really liked it and then enrolled in as many AP and Concurrent Enrollment classes I could to get college credit. One of the CE courses I took was fashion merchandising, coincidentally at the same time as dance company. Up to that point, I had never cared much about fashion, beside enjoying reading my subscription of Seventeen magazine and going shopping at the mall every once in a while. I wasn't expecting much out of the class, but after my first day, I was already in love. Every day I had the class I gush to my friends about how excited I was for it and everything I was learning from it. It was amazing how much I enjoyed something I'd never really cared about before. I ended up dropping another class to take Advanced Fashion Merch the next semester because I loved it so much. Needless to say, that class basically changed my life. I dabbled in some fashion design, eventually learned how to sew, and realized that I really did want to be a fashion designer. And now in a week and a half I'm showing a collection at a BYU fashion show. :)

I now know why I didn't make dance company, why I couldn't make dance company. God had different plans for me, and if he had given me what I wanted so badly in the moment, I wouldn't have what I want and love right now. I know what it's like to struggle...and not with just the above story. I wonder today why I'm not dating anyone and I wonder why I've had such a hard time with school lately. I wonder why I had to go through some of the things I did when they hurt me so so badly.

Everything happens for a reason, and I know that God usually has really good reasons. We have to remember that when God says yes to our prayer, he might have to say no to someone else's. Life has it's course, and even when everything seems to be going terribly wrong, it is actually going right. It's always going right.

So when people ask, why God lets bad things happen to us, he lets them happen to us because he loves us. He wants us to feel the pain to relate to other human beings in the world and he wants to make us stronger so that we can handle hard things the next time they come around and so that we can help other who were once in our position.

God is a just God and he is a fair God, and he is also a loving God. Whenever we are struggling or asking God why, let us remember that everything He does is for us, and in the end, we will all be grateful that he let it happen the way He did. :)

a Turkey in a Windshield

Don't you ever wonder what life would have been like if you had changed one choice of yours? If you'd gone to a different school, if you'd chosen to audition for that musical, if you'd have given up that time when you were struggling so hard, instead of getting up again and fighting one more time? Would life have been better, or worse? Some choices point straight to obvious ends; other choices are foggy and some have twists and turns so that you can't what end would come from that one choice. Or, would it all stay the same, one choice not causing even a slight difference in the universe?

If anything, I do believe that we have a choice. I do believe that God hasn't just planned out our whole lives, predetermining every single step we're going to take and not even giving us a chance to see what we are really made of when we look inside ourselves. We have a choice, and I think that each choice that we make influences our life, and it influences others lives around us.

There's a story of a boy thinking he was just having fun throwing a frozen turkey onto a highway, but it ended up hitting an old woman's windshield and hurting her really badly. His choice affected her in a huge way and it also affected his own life. But thinking in a broader spectrum, what about the butcher shop where he had gotten the turkey? What if that person who started that business had never done so? Maybe nothing would have happened. What if that butcher's mother or father had been a vegetarian. He would have been raised so and never even considered opening a butcher's shop, stopping the whole thing. I'm not saying it's anyone's fault, but our choices, even the tiny ones, go full circle and affect everyone around us more than we know. A choice that old lady made could have had a domino effect and caused her own injury. Think about it.

One thing I've really come to realize this week is how not alone we all really are. Really, I am never alone because I know that I always always have God on my side. But what if I didn't believe in God or didn't know He was there? Well then, I was born into a family and when I'm around them, I don't feel alone. But what if my whole family were gone? Would I be completely alone then? No, because I have my whole extended family. And what if I didn't have them either? I have my church and all of it's members all over the world. If I weren't a member? There are people who attended my schools, friends of friends, people of the same cultural descent, or people who have struggled with the same things I have. What if I still felt alone after going through all that? Well...we're all humans aren't we? We all feel happiness and hurt. We all listen to music and watch movies. We all have to eat and breathe to live. And really, do we need more than that?

You can read the turkey story here. I'm going to spoil the ending though...the old lady ended up forgiving that boy for hurting her, even though she could have easily been bitter and pressed charges. She understood that the choice she made would affect others, especially that boy's, and she also saw that boy as a normal human being, wanting him to know that she was on his side and that God was on their side too.

I'm not sure how this all completely relates, but I just want to stress that every single choice we make leads to a road end...good or bad? That's your decision, based on your attitude in life and how you live your life. And even more, I want to stress that no matter who you are, you are never ever alone. Ever. You might think it sometimes--you might even be thinking it right now--but if you're human (which if you're reading this then you obviously are) then you aren't alone. I am on your side. The person next door is on your side. Your town is on your side. The world is on your side. And most importantly, God is on your side, forever and always. Don't ever forget that.

Thoughts About the Media and the World

A topic that's really been on my mind lately is the influence of the media on our society. It seems to be a trending topic lately. I mean, it's everywhere--magazines, radio, tv, movies, newspapers, etc. And the media seems to portray everything. Nothing is hidden anymore. They talk about sucides, bullying, divorce, sex, homosexuality, drugs and alcohol, and other such stuff. It's all there. And then we get people trying to blame the media for everything that's happening in the world, or at least blame it for a large portion of what's happening. I found this video (not the best made, but still informative) made by some BYU students:

I was also able to watch Killing Us Softly 3, a documentary about ads and how women and children are portrayed (if you have time I'd definitely recommend watching it, it's very interesting and informative).

But honestly, I don't think that blaming the media is completely fair. I'm not siding with the media, saying that all of these things should be portrayed and shown as normal and even good. But the sad and inevitable part of this is that it's not going to stop. There are so many media influences out there that's it's virtually impossible for this to be stopped. I admire when people tell companies that they are mad about certain things (like Abercrombie's push-up bra) but telling one company isn't going to make a huge difference. Yes, we've all heard the starfish story, but think about it. In the whole scheme of things, one company compared to millions more isn't going to change anything.

The sad thing about all of this is that I don't really have a solution. I'm sorry. But one point I really wanted to make clear was that we don't know if it's the media influencing the world. How do we know it's not the world influencing the media? And to be fair, I am a Mormon, so I have higher standards than the rest of the world, and I believe in them and in my religion. But the people who aren't Mormons? Well, maybe they don't all realize this is bad. Even though it's getting worse and worse, like how magazines portray girls that get thinner and thinner and they just airbrush every single face they publish, people might not realize it. We can say all we want about how the media is bad or the world is bad, and it's true. But other people don't know that and they don't see it, and their minds aren't going to suddenly be changed just because someone tells them it's so.

When you think about it, you can't really find a source for all the evil in the world. We don't know who's doing what or who published what first. We don't know. All we do know is that it's there. And the numbers are increasing. Suicide rates are higher, eating disorder rates are higher, divorce rates--everything is getting higher. The only source we can pinpoint for all of this is Satan. Read this and then tell me what you think:

If I Were Satan…

I would gain control of gifted, creative, compassionate women in the world. I would attack the women because then I could destroy the future children and the family, the backbone of any nation. I would delude female minds into thinking their worth was their body, their appearance and achievements. I would promote an attitude of loving material things and using people, instead of the other way around. I would dupe entire generations of women into comparing themselves to the illusions portrayed in the media. I would have complete control of the media so that every day I would pollute the thoughts of women for my agenda. I would promote pornography and violence as art and entertainment. I would make the female body a sex object and promote fashions which make that statement. I would confuse women into thinking that glamour is beauty. I would get women to worship movie stars and models. I would set a standard of thinness as beauty in order to make women weak. I would make it socially acceptable for a woman to dishonor her body through starvation in order to attain society’s ideal for the female form. I would convince women that their hunger is a sin. I would make life so fast-paced and noisy that there is no time to nourish each other, to play together or listen. I would degrade the sacredness of marital intimacy and fidelity. I would make divorce easy and attractive, even fashionable. I would make it legal to take the life of unborn babies; I would make it socially acceptable to mutilate one’s body or take one’s own life. I would cheapen human life as much as possible, so that the lives of animals are valued more than human beings. I would promote a culture of perfectionism and competition where women are taught to feel inferior, guilty and not good enough. I would teach women to compete with each other and to compete with men. I would persuade women to focus on the God of self instead of their Creator. I would take spirituality out of the schools and out of the homes and out of the hearts of gifted, creative, compassionate women. I would leave things pretty much the way they are.

Written by Kathleen Slade Hofer, adapted from Paul Harvey

Powerful stuff, huh? When I first read that it made me so mad. So incredibly mad, because I have been tricked by Satan in so many ways and it really finally came to me that all of these things were lies.

But now? I feel empowered. I want to fight Satan and his lies and I want to win. I'm realizing that we cannot change the media, and we can't change all these facts. We can't, because Satan is very strong and he seems to have control over a large portion of the world. But we can choose to not believe it. All these lies will always be there and always be prevalent. And they're only going to get worse. But we don't have to believe any of it. And we can help others not to believe it too. In that way, we can make a difference. We can help one starfish at a time.

There are only two sides in this whole thing, God and Satan. And I'm pretty sure I know who's side I want to be on. It's simple. What do you think about this? Opinions? (I didn't mean to offend anyone while writing this, they're just my opinions and thoughts).

(Also, I hope this made sense! thanks!)

Recapturing Beauty Day 2: God's Definition of Beauty

Day 2:

Study what beauty is from a gospel perspective. Start by reading “True Beauty” by Lynn G. Roberts (see lds.org) and 1Samuel 16:7 and 1 Corinthians 3:16. Journal: From your study, how do you think Heavenly Father defines beauty? Why might this be hard to internalize and believe?

WHY: God is our Heavenly Father, and He knows us better than anyone--He created us! He knows most intimitately how beautiful we are, and He will tell us if we seek Him. A relationship with Heavenly Father is essential if we are to truly understand beauty and our worth.

Click HERE to go the True Beauty article. It's way good, and I would recommend reading it. Some of my favorite parts:

• "Happiness is the most attractive accessory a woman can have...If happiness is the most attractive accessory a young woman can have, then a smile would have to be the most charming cosmetic."

• "Our Father in Heaven provides the perfect example of this principle. He sees our divine nature. We are His children. The way He sees us, because of His love for us, is perfect. The mirror which He holds constantly before us, if we will only raise our sight to look, is the one in which we should trust. Its image is always true and never distorted."

• "The virtuous smile is truly beautiful as it radiates in a totally natural way. This true beauty can't be painted on but is a gift of the spirit."

• "In pageants, there is only one declared the fairest of them all. But with the Lord there is no competition. All have an equal privilege to have His image engraven upon their countenance. There is no truer beauty."

1 Samuel 16:7--"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenace, or on the height of his stature; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

1 Corinthians 3:16--"Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?"

Heavenly Father defines beauty not by what we look like but by our hearts and the inside of us. Let's face it, he created us all and he wouldn't have created anything that he didn't think was beautiful. He's perfect after all! It can be so hard sometimes though, because we live in the world and not with God, therefore we tend to try to impress the world a lot more than we try to impress God. I am more than guilty of this, believe me. But there is really only one person who we need to be looking beautiful for and that's our Heavenly Father. If we are trying to impress him, everything else will fall into place and others will see us as beautiful too...truly beautiful, not superficial.

In the past week I actually heard from two different people say that the only way we can define our worth is by what Heavenly Father thinks of us. We may be good at some things or have different things in our life, but things and talents may come and go and if that's what we define ourselves by, we'll never truly know who we are. The one truth in this world that will never go away is that we are children of God. That will never ever change. Look at this post on the Women's Services blog...it is really really great.

I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me...and I AM BEAUTIFUL!

“I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us--insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks;...He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other.”

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Life Happens

This week has been pretty great. As far as school and work, I am so happy. But I guess with other things life doesn't always turn out that wonderful. Sometimes it's awful. It's been a good first week in some ways, but in others, it's been awful. :( But I don't always have control over certain situations and all I can do is do my best, work my hardest, and then hope that everything will work out.

A friend shared this quote with me today by Gordon B. Hinckley. It's so comforting:

"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers."

All I can really do is hope for the best and trust in God. Because even if others aren't there for me, I know he will always be. Always. And that's something that makes me so happy and helps me through days that otherwise I'm not sure I'd be able to get through.

Here are some really great songs that I listen to get me through the day:

And here are some awesome quotes that always make me feel better:

"You know something; it’s not easy to break out of your comfort zone. People will tear you down; tell you you shouldn’t have bothered in the first place. But let me tell you something: there’s not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you. They’re both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they’re cheering for you. You do that, and someday, they will." –Sue Sylvester in “Glee”

"If you strive to build in the best experiences with the best decisions, then you don’t need to worry about finding success in life—it will find you." –Lori Drake

"When life gets too hard to stand, kneel." --Gordon B. Hinckley

"Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"You only find a few people in this world, a few people who will tell you they love you and mean it with all their heart. Don't forget those people who stood by you through it all, the special few that were there for you till the end."

"People make mistakes. The good ones make it ‘right.' That’s all we can expect from broken-down souls on two legs."

"It doesn't matter if the song of life that you sing is simple or complicated. All that matters is how much you put into that song. Your life is controlled only by what you give to it. You won't get anything from it if you don't put feeling into life. That's why people fall in love. If they give that feeling, they get it back. Put all you've got into this life, and when the day comes for you to pass on, you won't regret what you did."

"I believe in pink. I believe laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing; kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." –Audrey Hepburn

"As we grow up we learn that even the one person who was never supposed to let us down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll fight with your best friend and you’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing to fast and eventually you’ll lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt."

"Just when you think things can't get any worse, they do. I've learned that life is like an hourglass. Sooner or later, everything hits rock bottom. All you have to do is be patient and wait for something to turn everything back around."

"Gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks. No matter what words you use, they all mean the same thing. Happy. We're supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family. Happy just to be alive. Whether we like it or not. Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."

Sorry for the zillion quotes. But I love them all, and each one in some way or another goes with this post or my life right now, so I felt the need to share them. Anyways, that is my long and inspirational post for the day. Good night!

Funny how things work out...

About a month and a half ago I tried out for a musical, something I haven't done for a long time, but I really have been wanting to do for a while. I got a call back, but I didn't make it. At the time, I was pretty bummed about it, but I decided to move on, because it obviously wasn't meant to be and I couldn't just sit around sad about it.

NOW I am so so grateful I didn't make that musical. I've had such a fun and relaxed summer, which I think is something I really needed. If I had made it, I would have been super busy going from work to practices and then getting home late at night. I wouldn't have been able to do all the fun things I've been doing lately, like going on adventures at night with my besties, going to Cali (probably one of my most favorite vacations i've ever taken), making a quilt out of all my old t-shirts, going to Wyoming this coming week, spending lots of fun time with my family, and lots more.

I still would love to do a musical in the future, but now wasn't the time. Heavenly Father is taking good care of me whether I like it or not. He always is. :)