4.21.2011

A Bit of a Meltdown

My super cute new shoes! They are so comfy and move with my feet like they're ballet shoes. LOVE! :)
So I've actually been doing pretty well with dealing with the stresses of finals and and life and everything. I didn't blog on here for the past week because I didn't want to make myself stressed. But today, a comment at work got to me and then it just started setting off everything else. Work today was really busy, which was fine, but it made me more stressed. So then after work I went and bought a Jamba Juice because I've been craving one all week and haven't let myself have one. Then I went to my secret place on campus (its not the place pictured) and basically, I went from looking like this...
..to this...
...and then finally to this breakdown. :(
The tears started coming and I just bawled. I'm not sure why but I guess I'm just stressed about everything, like...

I was about to take two finals.
I don't know if I'll have good grades this semester or not.
My car won't start and not even my dad knows what's wrong and this causes more problems because it means I have to ask people for rides and I hate asking people for things and it also means that I can't do certain things I was planning to do because I don't have a car to do them and I don't want to ask people to take me.
I need to find another job for spring/summer to pay for college and life.
Life is hard and stressful sometimes. A lot of times.
I feel like I don't always wear cute enough outfits and everyone expects me to.
Cleaning checks in the morning.
A new and longer work shift starting tomorrow (well, today, I guess)
I am torn about going to California the first week of May with some of my best friends. I want to go sooooo bad because I love Cali and I need a vacation to somewhere wonderful with some wonderful people but I don't have a lot of money to spend and I don't want to take a whole week off of work and don't know if I can.
My tripod is still broken.
No school until August which makes me wonder what I should do with my life until then.
I want a boyfriend. I'm so tired of being single.
I need to play the piano more and sing more because I love it and I don't do it nearly enough.

Yeah, sorry about the venting. I hope I don't sound like a whiner! There was just a lot of stuff inside of me at the moment. After I cried for a little bit (or a lot haha) I felt better and I went and took my finals and I think I did fine. Then I had pizza for dinner with my freshman roommates from last year and after that I spent about 5 hours just talking with some of my best friends until about 2 AM.

*Deep breath* Life can get crazy and sometimes I can get really down on myself. But I think the most important thing to remember is that we are not in it alone. And if it's all too much to handle, it's really okay. In 5 years, 10 years, or 20 years, most of the stuff I'm stressing about won't even matter and I will later look back on this blog post and probably laugh! I really think the best thing about this life though is that there are always people there for us, even when it feels like the end of the world. I'm so grateful for my friends, family, and a loving Heavenly Father. Happy Thursday, friends :)

An Outfit A Day...
Cardigan? F21
Tank? secondhand, H&M
Necklace? F21
Jeans? Ross
Shoes? Forever Young

...Keeps the Fashion Police Away
Comfort? 8
Original? 5
Did I like it? 6
Overall? 6.5

P.S. If anyone knows of any jobs (like in the fields of fashion or child care or something you think I'd be good at) in the Provo area, I would greatly appreciate it if you told me! I'm still working at the bookstore in the middle of the day but I need something else too..thanks :D

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